I remember that cold winter night, one that will always keep a question open for me, What if...

As the train slowed down on the platform, my eyes wearily opened to check the name of the station. That winter night was abnormally chilly and I was looking for a cup of tea. Something else caught my attention though that brought a smile on my face.

The face appeared blank, her eyes were droopy, her skin pale and sullen. There was something about those eyes that drew me towards her. She was standing near the tea stall, wearing blue denims and wrapped in a grey shawl. 

The station was in a deep slumber. A few tea stalls were busy serving the passengers of the train that had just come in. It seemed as if a shade of grey had engulfed the platform with a few puffs of smoke billowing from the kerosene stoves of the tea vendors. A faint light from the distant sodium lamp was sneaking in between the platform and the train ceiling. A mellow noise was floating around. 

I stepped out of the train and walked towards the tea stall, and her. Her calm demeanor was uncanny and she appeared lost. The light from the kerosene stove had lit up her cheeks as if they were on fire. Her short hair was falling over her face and made her look mysterious. It seemed as if a lifetime had passed knowing this face.

As I stood next to her, sipping my tea, she looked at me. I don't remember what surprised me more, her looking at me or her shining eyes that were trying to tell me something. They spoke a thousand words, only I could not fathom any. A thin smile appeared on her lips, or so did I see. That was the moment, a few seconds when I spent a lifetime dreaming about that one smiling look, that one warm expression, asking me to come along to a dream world. I was drifting away into a happy world. I felt I could spend the rest of my life just looking at that smiling face. There was something very sensuous about the whole moment and it made me go wild for a second, I was mesmerised. 

I was so lost in her looks that I did not even realize that the guard had blown his whistle and the train had just started moving. I quickly paid for my cup of tea and rushed back. Something within me wanted me to turn back one last time and look at her, and maybe...stay back, a strong urge to call and reach out to her, but my mind kept racing against the train that was now catching speed. I was slowly running towards the door of my compartment. 

I jumped on board. Instantly I turned back to look at where I had left her and a regret overshadowed my mind. She was indeed looking back at me,smiling. A look that I can never forget in my life. I knew I would look back at that night again and again. 

As the train whistled out of the station, my trembling hands could not even go up to wave a bye. The face went farther and farther until it disappeared in the foggy night. I kept standing at the door for a long time until the TTE came to request me to go back to my seat. 

I slept off. That night ended soon, but it never did in my heart.

***

I woke up amidst policemen and the TTE. They were all staring down at me!

Where was I? Why did I have this terrible headache?

'Are you feeling better?' A voice floated in from somewhere.

'What happened?'' I asked.

"You were drugged and looted last night on the train." The TTE said. 

***
Years have passed but I still find myself standing at the door of that train looking at that face disappearing in the fog. The only difference between then and now is a bunch of cuss-words that appear along with the memory and that face.