Remember when we were children, and we'd be unwilling to share our toys? Our teachers/parents will say 'be kind'. We'd shrug, maybe throw a tiny tantrum, but soon all is forgotten, and we'd be playing like best friends forever. It was an emotion that came naturally to us. Who wanted to sulk and stay angry when it's easier to let go and get a playmate?
But as we grew older, it became difficult to make amends, and kindness just became another tool in the powerplay of egos. Every argument or disconnect was fraught with 'why should I?' or 'It's always me making amends' or 'Of course I'm right!'. Somewhere being right became so vital that it was easy to stick to it. Maybe this feeling comes from protecting self, ensuring we don't get walked over by others; after all, it is all about survival. But what if I tell you, being kind benefits you?
- A genuine act of kindness releases good hormones - Have you noticed the joy you feel when you help others? This feeling of almost high you get with the pleasure of making someone happy are the Oxytocin, Endorphins, and Serotonins – also known as happy hormone cocktail - released in your brains. These hormones are critical to your well-being. Science even has a phenomenon for it, called 'helper's high.'
- Kindness helps you avoid loneliness – We've all read, 'It takes a village to raise a child.' It also takes a village to pull you through any adversity. We've all heard the saying, 'Shared grief is half the sorrow.' But we can only halve our troubles if we have a strong network of friends to share it with. The battle called life is easier with friends, and lending an honest helping hand would help you gain many.
- Being kind helps you live longer – The oxytocin released by helper's high also causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide in blood vessels, which dilates (expands) the blood vessels. Which further reduces blood pressure, and therefore, oxytocin is known as a 'cardioprotective' hormone because it protects the heart (by lowering blood pressure). Healthy heart = healthy life
- Helps improve self-confidence – Even though the intention of kindness is not to expect anything in return, but still, what goes around definitely comes around. Being kind over a long time gets people to remember you, adore you, and care for you in their way. This feeling of warm and fuzzy affection significantly boosts self-belief and helps you get out of your shell.
- Builds long-lasting relationships – The couples who celebrate their Jubilee anniversaries all swear by the effect of kindness. Even though we don't realise but just sharing your partner's woes, or helping out with whatever they are struggling with, or taking up some of their responsibilities, even providing a shoulder to vent – all are classified as acts of kindness.
- Boosts the feeling of general well-being – People find when they are looking for an opportunity to be kind, it helps them distract from their problems. A study showed people who incorporate kindness events during celebrations thrive as a community, team, etc. Somehow the feeling of a tribe, belonging, helps them. Also, more often than not, it gives a perspective of dealing with their problems.
All these benefits for you are Muft! Muft! Muft! ( Free! Free! Free)
So next time you meet an elderly on the road, smile through your mask, and watch their eyes light up. Or if you see people struggling with getting groceries, offer to help out (with social distancing ofcourse). Or help out by providing shelter to strays this festive season.
As we celebrate the festivities around us, remember 'Be kind – it costs nothing '
Rituparna Ghosh is a Transformational Life coach and the author of 'Unloved in Love' and various other short stories. She writes on relationships and lives in the United Kingdom. Her books are available on Amazon.
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