Dear Nita Ambani
You with the Original Bling Aatma, the OG - ‘Only Glimmer’ vibes!
You put the celestial Akash Ganga to shame with your cut out!
You embody the adage, ‘all that glitters is not only gold but also diamonds and emeralds’
Peeps don’t understand that underneath all that shine, lurks a pure momma ka dil
I know you must be having a serious bout of FOMO
Lil Anant has become so big literally and figuratively. Till he decided to cut himself to size and you beat him to it and how!
With Lil Anant wanting to tie the knot, I as a mom to a boy can understand your tender feelings
Nothing can ever be good enough for the lil apple of our eyes
So we try again and again till we are satisfied we did our best
As a mere mortal, I limit my repetition exercises to gourmet meals
You being the Ambani Ben took it to perfecting the wedding vows
So many times
So many varieties
So many celebrities to be airlifted
Kabhie Rihanna Kabhie Bieber
Kabhie Negligee toh Kabhie Chaddi Baniyan
Complete Paisa Vasool entertainment for the trolls, bloody philistines! What do they know what class or crass is!
Don’t they know how you take care of every one - from Hardik to Samoohik Vivah?
That’s why your fave song must be ‘Hum saath aath hain!’
You must also be proud of how confident lil Anant has grown up to be!
How nonchalantly he embraces his inner SRK as he waddles gamely to
‘All cool boys come on make some noise, Om shanti Om’
It’s all your parvarish though I must slip in here that Money does give wings
Pa Mukesh should be commended equally, not only does he terrorise the subscribers with ever increasing tariff rates, he also pulverises the fawning attendees with his killer moves and jaw dropping sartorial elegance
He has taken JIO and mere Laal to the next level entirely
But for your able tutelage to all and sundry about grooming and grooving, this shindig would’ve fallen flat
But Ben this celebration tsunami gotta stop
The designers are running out of sequins and stones, and the Bollywood ‘Khan’daan cannot anymore subsist on celery to fit into those aquamarine fishnets
Unable to take anymore of these galathons even the heavens have rained the hell out of Tumcha Mumbai
Promise the utsav on 14th will be the last?
Don’t worry the next-gen moppets will grow up real soon and you will have more mega shaadis to oversee with newer influenzas dying to get invited
And you my dear will be the same Curious case of Ben Nita who is reverse aging with a vengeance
Yours truly
Boyzz Mom
P.S. AJ wants to know why this wedding is lasting more than some marriages
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