In a country where ‘Marriage’ is touted as a necessity in a woman's life, it’s hard to fathom that the divorce rate is gradually simmering high. With Maharashtra recording an all-time high at 18.7%, followed by Karnataka at 11.7%. Mind you, most of these marriages are love sagas turned into a fairytale wedding but sadly never saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The recent celebrity buzz with Esha Deol and Sania Mirza finally putting a full-stop to their long-standing marriages compels Gen Z to be in a fix if marriage is their final destination.
So, what really goes wrong? In my recent novel aptly titled, ‘Do I not marry?’ I address this with a story of Kiara and Neeti trying to decipher if marriage is the final flight they will come onboard, after having found their soulmates respectively. But for now, let’s look at what is going wrong with modern marriages.
Loving someone and living with them is a different ball game
All might be a bed of roses when you are dating but it is definitely not a stroll in the park when walking down the aisle. It is imperative to understand that when you will eventually share the same bed and bath, friction is bound to happen unless you adopt sainthood for your marital bliss. In the novel, Kiara who is married to her long-time boyfriend often contemplates if living with her husband before marriage would have exposed the cracks in her marriage sooner than expected and helped her make the right choice.
Change is inevitable, including you and your partner
It is human to err, but what we must know is that it is human to change with time. This time, however, has begun to move rapidly, especially after the Covid-19 pandemic. One must factor in that marriage adds on to a myriad of financial and social responsibilities which can be fun only if the two of you chin up and decide to take it in your stride (task by task). But a disaster, if even one of you is unprepared for the moral and social baggage, that it brings.
When you take it for granted
No one would like to be treated as a forever trophy wife/husband in your living room display. The very fact that marriage seems to be the final destination for couples is in itself the biggest mistake. Marriage is a work in progress by the two people involved in it. If one stops responding, the other will eventually feel suffocated in the relationship leading to a nightmarish situation for the relationship. Feeling important and inclusive in a relationship is an integral part.
A couple that stops having fun together is far from staying together
Don’t let the fun in your relationship die for any third person, your children included. With time, the two individuals in marriage would start following a mundane routine leading to an unspoken void that becomes the uncalled devil in your marriage. If you can’t remember to draw inspiration from the exciting times that brought you closer, then you are better left with aging in your relationship like a disgruntled granny.
Marrying for the sake of being married
This should definitely be considered as a top-most hygiene check before you say, ‘I do’. Sure, the digital landscape inculcates a stronger peer pressure driving everyone crazy. But it should never be the reason to marry that partner you have been dating for a while or the friend who has seen you grow out of your clothes from childhood to adulthood. It doesn’t work that way. Take a deep breath to think why you really want to get married to that person and then choose your path and partner wisely.
If you haven’t read Do I not marry? yet, order your copy today to know the ins and outs of how Kiara Malhotra finally goes through in her turbulent marriage and if she ever comes out in flying colors… read it to know it all.
Comments