Most authors refer to their finished books as their babies, and with good reason. Like parenting, writing is an act of hard work, turmoil, and grit with absolutely no control over the end result. But this is not where the similarities end. In many other ways, writing a book is similar to raising a baby.
The vision: Both begin with a foggy vision. I had this vague image in my head of how my future will look. A kitchen filled with the warm aroma of freshly baked cookies and a rambunctious child or cosying up with a cuppa in winters and typing my heart out. I had safely locked these away in the recesses of my brain to be visited when the timing was right. Yet looking back, I can see that unconsciously all the things I did brought me a step closer to this vision. The nearer I got, the clearer it became, till it consumed me.
The beginning: The beginning of a book is often like baby fever – the sudden and inexplicable need to put out the words on paper. The ideas whirling in your brain again and again, till all you can see are authors, books, and all you can think is the story idea you have. I remember when we decided to have a child; after some time, it was all I could think about. Every thought, every conversation would always turn to babies. When ‘unloved in love’ began taking shape, I would write everywhere, in trains, in pubs, often through the night.
The path: Like no parent sets out to create a spoiled child, no writer sets out to create a bad book! But that’s where we as a writer/parent, begin to lose objectivity. While the belief 'ours is the best' helps us soldier on, it also creates millions of blind spots. We cannot see anything coming in the way of our dream, or we ignore the countless flaws. They say, ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ As our friends and family are in our corner, ensuring we don’t spoil our kid rotten, our beta readers keep us in check.
The process: There is no one way of raising a child. I am sure if you are anything like me, you’d have researched and confused yourself with the multimillion parenting methods —authoritative, authoritarian, helicopter, indulgent, and so on. But ultimately, after pouring through everything, I’ve arrived at my own brand of parenting, the kind that feels the most natural to me. It’s similar to writing; some write the whole story out in three weeks; some create a plotline and then research; some write 1000 words every day. The point is writing like parenting is intuitive.
The act: It’s a tough job! Phew! Like parenting, as the book comes along, your days are filled with moments you feel like you want to tear out all your hair! There are moments where you question everything, from your sanity to your existence. Yet, you trudge on, the urge to leave something tangible, something that you created strong. Being present in the act of writing is like being with your child. To see your ‘story’ grow, take tiny steps till you realise that it is writing itself, much like your younglings preparing for their first flight. You balance your time by giving it independence, yet watching it with bated breath from the periphery, ready to catch it if it falters.
The conclusion: In a world that thrives on instant gratification, parenting keeps us grounded. It’s years of deposits that we make in terms of our time, effort, energy, and intelligence without any guarantee that the end product will at all be anything like we’ve imagined. Writing and parenting are both the perfect examples of staying unattached to the result. Like you don’t know how your child will turn out despite your best efforts, you’ve no idea of predicting how the audience will receive the book, the product of your blood, sweat, and grime. But you continue to do your best, and when the time comes? You let it fledge its wings and go!
Rituparna Ghosh is a Transformational Life coach and the author of 'Unloved in Love' and various other short stories. She writes on relationships and lives in the United Kingdom. Her books are available on Amazon.
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