SYMPTOMS:
Are you single at present?
Capable, averagely intelligent and have average looks? (err… average bank-balance too?)
Is everyone to your right and left dating left and right?
Do your parents routinely exercise—their right to pressurise you; scare you that you shall be left alone? While in reality, they do not have anyone in real human form as an option, up their sleeves, for you?
CURE:
A simple exercise for your ever-lasting happiness:
CHOICE I
You buy a one-way ticket to an isolated island and stay marooned up there with a mobile phone, internet connection, Netflix paid-for, and Kindle. Of course, Swiggy shall deliver!
CHOICE II
Sit straight. Open your FB Page and look beyond the happy pictures and happier comments of hundreds of your friends—all of whom could be lying shamelessly! Take a deep breath, close your eyes and visualise each happily married friend of yours, in the real state of misery that they are in. visualise hard on their real dishevelled looks, weary eyes and wrinkled expressions. Take your right hand forward, exhale deeply and pat your left shoulder with your right hand. YOU ARE LUCKY!
No matter which of the choices you make, keep repeating the mantra of happiness: Fries before Guys; Food before Dude… (source: internet)!
Yes, strange it is that though we have seen it all, and sometimes, even experienced it all and we certainly know it all for ages now—yet, the pasture of the married ones keeps looking greener than of those of us who are blissfully single. Unfair, isn’t it? Understandably, those who have not yet tasted the laddoo, might crave for it but hey Big G up there… why sow temptation in those who have thrown up and had indigestion due to the laddoo in despair once? Why us (the married-once-but-single-now)?
Oh, am I not blessed indeed!
Yes, I am single! Right now, that is…
If at all at any time, I feel as if I am riding over a giant wave of loneliness, I just need to spend five minutes with Google Aunt and I am, in a funny sort of way, shown the advantages of my present matrimonial status.
I can give relationship advice freely and fearlessly, without any stress of such advice boomeranging on me! Oh, how easy I breathe…
And sometimes, an early bright and sunny morning brings with itself the brighter shades of this side of the pasture. There are no burnt paranthas and burnt fingers I need to suffer from, while coyly placing the breakfast with low self-esteem in front of the lazy lord! For, there is mercifully no such useless soul at all in life and at home!
There are no tiffins to pack every day for some lazy bum! One can set one’s own alarm for one’s own ears and wake up with a full guilt-less stretch on one’s own bed which is entirely to be put to use for oneself. One can, without any stress of how one smells or looks or weirdly acts—go about the entire house, choosing the best spot for Yoga… Pamper oneself with a steaming cup of tea which won’t be cold, trying to iron someone’s clothes or ensuring that the fruits are packed too in the tiffin!
Life seems cool and carefree, ain’t it?
What? You say you fear loneliness? Well, better to be single and alone than be married and tired and bored and depressed and anxious and frustrated! Isn’t it so? Of course, it is not rosy all the way and all the time… and even if we have to work hard and make efforts to live well, the efforts are borne out of a desire to be happy for one’s own sake. J
Yes, the debate can prolong for as long as we wish…
The truth is that the bag is always mixed. The bundle that others are carrying on their heads may seem lighter or brighter or more interesting—but the contents are always mixed and it is the holder of the mixed bag who must alone endure the gains and the pains!
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Dr. Navniit Gandhi: is an academic, author, counsellor/trainer and freelance feature writer. Her academic experiences span over two decades, and her publications include more than 250 feature articles, regular columns in newspapers and web-portals, several academic papers, two workbooks for school children, two e-booklets and seven books. A recipient of several awards and academic distinctions, Navniit has also represented India to the US under the aegis of the Fulbright American Summer Institute program on US Foreign Policy-making. She is currently based in Kuwait. Navniit has co-authored a cosy and comic novelette, Shaadi-ka-Laddoo.Com , with her friend, Varuna Khullar. The book was unveiled at Pune International Literary Festival in September 2019. Grab your copy here.
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