We see people who have everything — good career, good wealth, and good families — still, feel discontent with life. Some of them even get depressed. A lot of factors play a role in shaping our mental state. Our food habits, our attitudes and approach to life, the amount of physical activity we do, our genetic make-up, everything can have a bearing. It is prudent for a person who feels low over an extended period without any good reason to get checked and resort to medical help.
The kind of activities we engage our mind in also play a role in its health. Here, I have divided everything we do into five types of activities. Having the right mix of these goes a long way in keeping ourselves healthy, happy and in high spirits.
- Service: This is the activity that we do to help someone else, without wanting anything in return. Helping an old man cross the road, teaching school children subjects you know, reading out to those who lack good vision, feeding or watering birds on a sunny day are some such examples. We need to look no further than our own houseat times, as helping in the kitchen or cleaning our neighbourhood itself could act as great avenues for service. Keep your antenna up and you will find lots of opportunities to do random acts of kindness every day.
- Investment: This is the activity that usually does not feel great while doing, but helps us in the future. Preparing for an entrance exam, doing a workout we hate, eating something healthy that tastes horrible are some of the investments that do pay us hugely later.
- Celebration: This activity gives us joy right when we do it, there is no delay! Listening to a favourite band, talking to someone we like, travelling to our favourite vacation spot, eating our favourite dish, cuddling a beloved are all examples.
- Rest: This takes little energy and helps us relax, unwind, and recharge. Sleep is the most obvious one and we are hearing more and more about its value in keeping our mind sound. A silent walk in the park, where we observe nature (as opposed to having an argument with someone we are walking with) can be another restful activity. A leisurely session of yoga, time spent in peaceful meditation or giving yourself up to the hands of a skilful masseuse could be other ways to find deep rest.
- Compulsion: This is good for you neither when you do it, nor in the future, and nor does it help anyone else. We do such acts because, at the spur of the moment, we felt forced. We may have said something mean to someone and it may have hurt both us and them. But at that moment, we just couldn’t hold back the words and they poured out. We at times gorge food that feels good neither while eating nor afterwards. But when we see it on the plate, we can’t stop ourselves.
Now that we have seen the five types, let us see how to find a healthy balance. It should be clear that we should minimise anything compulsive. As for the remaining four, aim to find at least some time for each, every day.
If you spend too much of time in the top two (service and investment) but don’t get enough of the two next (Celebration and Rest) you can feel burnt out. In extreme cases, this can even lead to a nervous breakdown.
Celebration is best when it happens in a group; after all, happiness multiplies when we share it. Sitting in a dark room watching a movie alone may be fun once in a while, but over time it can become unhealthy. Going on a picnic with friends or family, playing a team sport like cricket or basketball, or playing music for a band will prove a lot more wholesome.
On the other hand, if you spend too much time in Rest and Celebration alone, life can end up looking pointless. If we are only seeking instant gratification, our life will have no purpose. This can also lead to a feeling of being wasted away and if allowed to grow this can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts. People who face such thoughts often report feeling a lot better after exercise or volunteering to help others.
Remember that an activity need not belong exclusively to one type. For example, if you play a sport, it can be at once a Celebration that gives you immediate joy and an investment that makes you fit in the longer term. We see people who have devoted their lives to service and spend a large majority of their time working for others. It is because they get so much joy out of it that it is also a Celebration for them.
But don’t worry if it doesn't work this way for you. Just do what feels like a celebration to you. The activities to pick and the amount of time to spend in each type varies from person to person. A general rule or copying another cannot help here. Find your right mix through your own experience.
Whenever life feels off balance, you feel too fatigued or too dull, make an audit of where in these groups your different activities fall. Some small adjustment in your daily or weekly routine could be all that it takes to make you bright and bubbly again!
---
If you found this article helpful, then hear this: in my new book, I explore the question of finding happiness in life through an adventure story set in a jungle. Check out ‘The Happy Fruit Adventures’ today!
Comments