The evening sky shimmered through the broken window casting an assortment of colours spanning the floor of her room. Through the faint light of the diminishing sunrays, she could see the remains of the burnt houses, shattered glasses and destroyed lives. Somewhere down the narrow street, she could hear the blaring sirens of ambulances and police, the heart-wrenching cries for lives lost and property damaged. Even the splattered blood on the street, burnt walls of the blown houses, battered remains of bodies or the awful stench in the air couldn’t instil a single thread of remorse in her. Instead, she felt proud and satisfied on job well done.

Mounting the duffle bag on her shoulder, Megha jumped down from the first-floor terrace and rolled into the bush nearby. She was sure nobody had suspected her of anything but if she was found in the house, things could get complicated. She took out the big sunglass from her bag and wrapped her cashmere stole around her head and slowly started walking towards the main road.

Megha Mahtre, Raja Trivedi, Mukul Sharma and Anwar Sharif were hired and trained by the Jammu and Kashmir Liberation Front (JKLF) for a purpose and like every Jihad community; the end goal of every project was freedom, to provide self-determination for the people of Jammu and Kashmir and to propagate the cause of a plebiscite in the state. Although the JKLF presidents, Farooq Malik and Omar Qureshi, have renounced violence as a means to attain this goal, yet there are small, but significant players like Megha, who are hired and trained for the bigger purpose. Their agenda is to send out a message, strong and loud, to the government of India that if they don’t give the people of Jammu and Kashmir their rights, lives will be destroyed.

Each one of them had a mission; Raja and Anwar were to spread the message in the office buildings, market places and banks in Mumbai. Raja was in charge of the Mumbai Stock Exchange, Passport Office and a terminal at the Sahara airport. Anwar was responsible for Hotel Sea Rock, Zaveri Bazar and Masjid-Mandvi Corporation Bank. Each was given sufficient amount of RDX, C4 and grenades imported from the UK, courtesy Farooq Malik, to pull off their operations. Megha and Mukul were given the Titagarh, Pingla and Durgapur towns of Kolkata. Mukul was in charge of train blasts in Titagarh and Pingla and Megha was in charge of Durgapur. She selected a place near the City Centre on a crowded Sunday evening. She knew the message would be well received and widespread when the C4s and RDXs wiped out the major population on the street. They were to accomplish their respective operations and meet their boss at the headquarters in Bhopal. If the commander-in-chief was satisfied with their performances, then the next big step was a series of blasts in Delhi. This was the dream…to spread the word in Delhi.

Seated in her second-class compartment in the Bhopal-Howrah Express, Megha drifted to her childhood memories. Youngest in the family with three elder brothers, Megha was fluent in self-defence techniques by the age of 14. Her inquisitiveness to understand chemical formulae and spend hours in the chemistry lab experimenting on a new solution led to her ambition of becoming a scientist. Sadly, her parents couldn’t afford her tuition fees beyond the 10^th standard. Her brothers were either engrossed in local fights or were just whiling their time. Her parents worked in the coal mines and were not able to provide for anything more than two meals a day for their children. Megha, being the rebellious youngest child, had a dream for herself. She wanted a purpose for her life and so one night, gathering her savings from teaching the local students, she ran away to Delhi. The streets of Delhi were not friendly to a 19-year-old homeless girl. Yet, she found a small room shared by five other girls in Paharganj. She started working as a lab assistant in a private research laboratory. Not the dream she was chasing, but beggars can’t be choosers. Then one night changed her life forever…

Walking back from her lab, she was followed by thugs. She thanked her brothers for teaching her some self-defence moves but those thugs were incorrigible. She hit one on his guts and sent him flying into the drain. Running for her life, Megha ran into a tall, mean-looking person. He caught her shoulders and pulled her into a dark alley. Megha was horrified. Running from one trouble into another, she could barely keep her knees from trembling. He wrapped his palm over her mouth and gestured her to keep quiet. Soon she heard the thugs running past the alley. Lowering his hands from her mouth, the guarding angel stepped away from her.

“Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“My brothers taught me. Thank you for helping me.” She quickly stepped away from the dark alley and started walking towards her home.

“Wait! What are you doing this late walking alone?” He called out to her.

“Don’t worry about me! I can take care of myself.” She quickened her speed trying to walk faster, away from the man and the alley.

“No, no, wait. I need to speak with you.” He caught up with her, stopping her by touching her elbow. She spun around taking a stance to hit her elbow right into his face but he was fast and quickly took hold of her elbow and wrapped his wrist around her other hand.

“Relax. Please. I am not trying to hurt you. Listen to me first.”

“What is it? What you want?” It didn’t require a genius to guess what he could possibly want from a young girl in a dark alley. Megha was tired and exhausted from this city and its nightly predators. But something about the sincerity in his voice made her give him a chance. She thought if he had actually wanted to take undue advantage of her, he would have probably left her to the thugs earlier and maybe even joined them.

“I am Aarib Khan. I work for a private company. We are looking for people who can work with chemicals and know their way around labs. I have noticed you a couple of times. You work at the Agarwal Laboratory as a lab assistant, right?”

Megha couldn’t decide if she should be flattered that he noticed her or be terrified that he was a creepy stalker. The only relief was at least he was not a rapist and was talking about working for another lab. Sure, she could work for another lab, if they pay her well.

“Yes. I am a lab assistant. Why were you stalking me? Do you have a vacancy at your lab for an assistant? I tell you I will demand a hike in my salary. Can you afford that?”

Aarib couldn’t help but smile at her innocent questions. Ignoring the list of questions she asked, he said, “Yes. I have a job offer that will change your life forever.”

The train jerked to a stop pulling Megha out of her flashback. Many a times, from her journey since then, she thought about her brothers and her parents but could never gather the courage to meet them. What would she say? ‘Hey Dad! You remember me, your little girl who ran away from your house to fulfil a dream? Well, you know what? I have fulfilled my dream of becoming a scientist and not in medicines but bombs and dynamites and equivalents of C4s. Yay me!’

Her training had begun immediate after Aarib took her to Abdul Khan, the commander-in-chief for all operations in India. Abdul taught her how to make bombs and then graduated her to make other explosives. Her initial shock and fear of being a part of JKLF vaporized when in her induction, she was shown how the people of J&K are suffering in the hands of Indian and Pakistani soldiers. They showed how JKLF’s ultimate objective is to create a safe place for the children in J&K. She was brainwashed, her mind tricked into believing that all her contributions in making the explosives are towards achieving the bigger goal – a safe haven for the children of J&K. Her day would begin reciting the pledge of honour that every member of the group recites at least 100 times a day, then a ten-mile jog around the compound and then five hours of dedicated effort into creating grenades and explosives. She enjoyed creating bombs and having that sole ownership of the lab. She had everything she needed – food, shelter, people whom she could call family and most importantly, her own lab. Few years later when Abdul couldn’t hire more people for his operations, he trained Megha on how to use a combat knife and handed her a semi-automatic. Aarib taught her how to use the gun and how to plant a timed-bomb in vehicles but mostly he taught her how to use the knife for quick and swift results. She grew close to Aarib and saw him more than her mentor. Their love story was not well received by Abdul and it was decided that she should marry Aarib. She was beyond thrilled to marry the man who had invaded her dreams since the night at the alley and was equally thrilled to change her name from Megha Mahtre to Aafreen Khan, meaning ‘brave’ in Arabic, authenticating her loyalty towards her husband and also towards the group. Strangely her married life was so short lived that it did require her to brave up and continue her journey. Aarib was killed by the Indian Army in one of the operations… and for Megha, this fight just got personal.

She met Mukul at the Bhopal station and together they hiked an auto rickshaw to go to the headquarters.

“How were your board results?” She asked Mukul in code language.

“Awesome! I got 100% in all subjects.” Mukul’s cocky but easy going attitude had always brought a smile to Megha. It made her realize the fact that he was still 18 years old and she 21. The auto parked in the PNB Colony near Idgah Hills. Megha was fluent in Urdu and didn’t leave a trace of doubt in the driver’s mind that they were a happy couple living in Bhopal. Stuff like language, dressing sense and behaviour in public places could lead to red flags for the government intelligent agencies. They were trained to “blend” in the crowd so that they never become suspects.

They arrived at the fifth floor of the building where they were scheduled to meet Abdul, Raja and Anwar. Raja and Anwar had already arrived and were fixing themselves a lunch of keema pulav. It seemed to her as if she had come home. Raja and Anwar were like brothers to Aarib and they always treated Megha like their sister. Soon, Abdul also joined them and after sharing congratulations on job well done in Mumbai and Kolkata, they got down to the serious business of discussing the next stage – Operation Delhi.

The operation was simple. Three serial blasts – main bazaar of Paharganj, bus stand in Govindpuri and car bomb blast in Sarojini Nagar. All within a span of five minutes’ gap each and then all four will go underground till they receive orders from Abdul. Raja and Anwar were to perform their operations in Paharganj and Govindpuri. Megha was happy to scout Sarojini Nagar with Mukul and not go back to the place where this journey had started…with Aarib…in the dark alley.

They arrived at their respective locations and timed their watches. Raja timed it to 3:00 PM, Anwar timed it five minutes after and lastly Mukul and Megha timed their watches at 3:10 PM. The mission was to blow the bombs at 5:00 PM sharp.

Raja arrived in his yellow Nano car, registered to Mr. Bhoumik from Greater Kailash who was currently enjoying an overseas vacation with his family. He parked the car in front of the main gate of the Paharganj Railway Station and walked into the nearby medical store. He had about 45 seconds to run out of the area but in order to appear normal, he wasted about 20 seconds in the medical shop and then started speed walking towards the other end of the road. He had just taken a turn into one of the parallel streets when he checked his watch… 4:59:58…. 4:59:59… 5:00… Boom!

For precisely five seconds, everything was silent…no howling street hawkers, no blaring sound of passing trains and it seemed that earth stopped spinning for exactly five seconds. Then hell left loose…the ground shook and the entire area was engulfed in smoke and dust… people started running, crying and amidst this total chaos, Raja could feel his lips curving into a smile. Yes, job well done, indeed.

Megha drove the yellow Nano car (yup, registered to Mr. Bhoumik) into the busy crowded streets of Sarojini Nagar. She felt calm, composed and fiercely determined. This operation was a tribute to Aarib, to his sacrifices and the life she lost even before she had. She had an inbuilt anger towards the Indian Army. They snatched her husband from her when all he was doing is providing a safe haven to the children of J&K. If she could, she would create an explosive that would wipe out the entire Army… but she has been trained… trained to channelize this anger, this feeling of helplessness, this hatred towards the injustice she suffered, into the feeling of revenge through such operations wherein she got the pleasure of watching the low lives scattered across the street, the foul smell of their bodies burning, the damaged building, houses and lives. Yes, these people will pay for the sacrifices she and Aarib have made towards building a future for the children of J&K.

She walked out of the car, got the parking ticket from the unauthorized ticket collector, paid him 20 rupees and then placing a big fake smile on her face, she walked into the crowded streets. She knew she had approximately three minutes to walk out of the area and walk up to the petrol pump station on the Africa Avenue Road. Her vengeance had surpassed her intention of planting a not-so-damaging explosive to planting a RDX. She knew that since she had parked near the vendor who used a gas cylinder for making snacks, the result would be highly catastrophic. She ran to the petrol pump station where a two-wheeler was parked by Mukul and rode into the city.

She dumped the two-wheeler in a drain and then walked her way to the “underground” destination to find Raja, Anwar and Mukul watching the latest news. She locked the door and got herself a glass of cold water. Assessing the smirk on Mukul’s face, she knew that the damage in all the three areas went as per the plan – absolutely devastating. Now, they were expected to lay low for couple of months after which Abdul would let them know their next assignment. The deafening noise from the news was causing havoc in her mind, she quietly got up and went to her room and locked her in. Megha was known to be the “quiet” terror in the camp. She knew she has good technical skills to build an explosive but communication skills? Eh, not so much! She was good with guns but her specialty was in the knife. Aarib had taught her how to use the combat knife that Abdul had given her during her training. He was the best in the group and he had taught her how to beat him. She was indebted to him forever for teaching her to defend herself. She took out her clothes and donned her black jeans and black top. She pulled up the safety lever in her 3D Glock semi-automatic, added the silencer to the nuzzle and tucked it under her back. She wore her ankle high boots and stuffed her knife in it. Then she took out two timed-bombs from her back and placed one under the bed and one inside her cupboard. She had 10 min to walk out from here. She walked into the room where the others were still watching the news. She took out her Glock and shot Anwar right through the back of his head. Blood and flesh splattered on the TV and the wall on which it was mounted. Before Raja and Mukul could react, she put another bullet into Raja’s forehead. She recalled Abdul’s words… Point blank assassination requires you to be devoid of any feeling or emotion whatsoever. If ever you want to feel anything, feel for those small children in J&K for whom you are doing all this and then you will never falter to hit the target on the forehead.

Mukul jumped over Raja’s dead body and hid behind the couch, screaming for his life. Megha knew that no matter how much she tries to explain Mukul, he will never understand her actions. She started walking cautiously towards the couch. Just as she was about to reach behind the couch, a sole boot came flying towards her and whacked the gun from her hands. Mukul flew from the back of the couch towards her, knocking her down to the floor. His hands were wrapped around her throat and his thumbs were pressing into the base. Megha was struggling for breath and for a fraction of a second, she felt as if she will lose it to Mukul but suddenly she remembered her knife in her boots. She folded her legs and dipping her hand into her right boots, drew out the knife and plunged it into Mukul’s stomach. It was not fatal but it would hurt a lot. He immediately withdrew his hands and fell on the floor. Megha didn’t waste a second; she drew the knife out from his stomach and sliced open his neck. Panting heavily she stood up and gazed around the room. Mission accomplished.

Having grown up with three elder brothers, Megha had seldom anything to eat. Then when she came to Delhi, she was again struggling to make enough for her rent and for her meals. She lived off the street food of Paharganj. Now, she had a bag full of money from Abdul, a new identity and a new passport as a ticket to a new life. She tugged the knife into the bag and hired an auto rickshaw to Lajpat Nagar. Time for some makeover… She went to the most exclusive bag shop in Lajpat Nagar and bought herself an expensive bag. Next she bought some extremely soft silk scarves and big sunglasses to cover her face in the scorching sun, of course. She followed a group of seeming-richly-dressed young girls and entered a café – Starbucks.  

She ordered a Grande Java Chip coffee for herself. Looking for some privacy and seclusion, she took her coffee to a vacant spot. She withdrew the blood-stained knife from her bag and wrapped one of the scarves around it. As she reflected the past few days, she felt surreal.

Here, she sat in the Starbucks café, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. The blood-stained knife lay next to her handbag, covered with her blue silk scarf.

Never in her dreams would she have thought she had the courage to break free from the group, to carve a life out for her but she had to do this… this mission was important… was important for Abdul, for Aarib and for herself. And now, she has to take the money and build a life that would be safe, like a safe haven. Yes, she has to create a safe haven for the life forming inside her belly… a small life of three weeks… a life gifted by her husband… a life she will die protecting and kill shielding.