I remember that day

As clear as any.

I remember the heat, the passion, the love I felt.

I remember the temperature rise,

The clothes being tossed aside.

The bra hook undone,

The pant zip gone.

I remember a million feather kisses,

And soft sweet gentle touches.

Yet, I could still feel the heat from your lips

And the strength of your arms as you held me.

I remember your fingers roaming

All over my honey-like body

I remember mine,

Tracing lines on your broad back.

I remember the laughs,

The happiness,

The smiles,

The pleasure,

All of it.

Like it was a book, I read over and over.

I remember the sweat,

I remember the moans.

I remember names being called.

I remember your arms reaching for me

While I cupped your face in my palms.

Gentle rocking, constant staring.

I whispered,

I love you.

As faintly as I could.

It baffles me how I did not realize then.

That you never uttered the phrase back to me.

It did not occur to me in the slightest

That I had given you body, soul, heart, spirit.

While you denied me them all.

I racked my brain for reasons on sleepless nights,

Only to end up soaking the pillow with my sorrow.

You did not love me.

An apparent fact

That I realized too late.

While I showered you with love.

Your eyes shone only with want.

Me oblivious, me love struck

Forgot all signs and instincts

When in your 'loving' arms.

How dare you?

Now after months with streaks of pain 

Left at your wake

Deep within my soul

I want to ask you,

Confront you,

How dare you?

You stupid man.

If you did not love me. If you did not want me forever. If precious I was not in your eyes. If important not to your soul.

Then why would you do such a thing

And disappear into thin air?

Do not mistake me.

Regret I do not feel.

For love you, I did.

But I still wonder.

How you live? 

Knowing,

I cared while you didn't.