• Published : 18 Sep, 2021
• Category : Author Speak
• Readings : 1151

• Tags : Writing tips,Show vs Tell,Creative writing

One of the pieces of advice I got after the first draft of Unloved in love was rejected, was, 'there is a lot of telling in this book and I needed to show'. Like with everything I nodded my head and got back into the war zone that my manuscript had become. Armed with a fancy course I had done, I worked my way through a couple of chapters, only to receive the same feedback. Somehow, Karan, Kyle, and Kiara were not connecting with my readers. I took some time out and then went back to my draft as a reader, and that clicked it in my head.

Hold on, I am telling you, am I not? let me show you.

Imagine a scene where the protagonist is lost in his thoughts.

‘He sat staring at the sea. Soon it became night everything was silent around him except the sound of his AC and the sea.’

Vs

‘He settled down on his balcony and sat staring out to the vast expanse of sea. The colour slowly changing from a glittering blue to solid indigo with froth attached like a bit of lace. The town quietened, lulled into sleep by a symphony played by the din of air-conditioners and steady waves.’ [1]

Both talk about the same things that happened to him, however in the second instance readers are with him, they can imagine him on the balcony, they can imagine when the day turns into night. Apart from helping the readers connect to the story, showing has other benefits

It empowers the readers.

The readers are free to imagine how’d the scene look like. They can experience in their own way what the writer is trying to tell them.

For eg – I played the guitar at the concert and the crowd went mad.

Vs

The crowd lusted for the magic I was weaving with my guitar. The stage was covered in psychedelic, red and blue hues thanks to the follow-spots. The air was putrid with smoke and alcohol fumes. [2]

Here the reader can imagine me, imagine the stage I was playing on, could hear the shouts. They would be able to smell the mix of alcohol and smoke.

As a writer, it saves thinking time.

You no longer have to ponder over the perfect words to describe your character.

She was confident yet very shy at certain times. It confused me.

Vs

‘The girl who’d get flustered at a simple hello, ploughed through a very complicated presentation. She was the unanimous choice for the keynote speaker at the Entrepreneur conference yet broke into a cold sweat every time I tried to talk to her. This dichotomy confused me.’ [3]

There is a thing as too much show!

Unfortunately like with everything, too much of 'show' stalls the story and makes it bulky. There are certain points where a telling is needed. The side-characters, for instance, it is important to know the protagonist’s childhood and what made them the way they are, but it would be impossible to show every incident!

‘The Kamats had migrated from Bangalore to Goa in their twenties. They told the world that it was due to Anna’s job, but the truth was they wanted to run away from their family and their constant taunts...’ [4]

Here it's not important to show what happened to them or what these taunts were. For example, your central character is about to commit suicide! Readers don’t care about the scene or the settings, all they care about is what’s going to happen next?

She bent down sideways on the bridge and looked around for some pebbles. She then carefully filled the pockets of her red sheepskin coat. She had never learnt swimming, even though she was good at other sports like tennis. Her friend who loved to go snorkelling in the Maldives told her, every human can float on water, survival instinct always kicks in.

vs.

‘Bending down she picked out pebbles from around the bridge and filled her coat pockets with them. She didn’t know how to swim, but these would keep her down if the survival instinct kicked in. [5]

Readers don’t care if the coat was sheepskin or that her friend went snorkelling, they are invested in her. All they want to know is ‘what happens next?’

Ideally, a good piece of creative writing has the perfect balance of show and tell, but it’s not that easy. There are no rules to define scenarios where a show would work better than tell or vice versa. However, there are simple, umm... guidelines that we can follow

1. How important it is for readers to know – Is it there because it’s a beautiful piece of writing? Or is it there because it is absolutely important, an integral part of the story? – if the former, then probably a ‘tell’ would just work as well.
2. The emotion – You want the reader to feel the pain and agony of the heartbreak, you want them to know how intense the anger is, you want the reader to feel the joy drops of rain bring – Show here would help you express.
3. When you are using too many adverbs - You are writing but are extremely confused. Firstly, the story is not flowing, secondly, you feel stuck. When you are forced to use too many adverbs to tell the readers what is happening, it might be the time to get the big guns out and write a scene with 'show'.

Malik thought angrily.

Vs

Anger shot through Mallik, turning his buttery skin blotchy.  [6]

Hope this article helps you be a creative writer in a small way. Always remember when in doubt always go with your gut.