Dear dear Nirmala Tai,
I feel you. I get you. I fathom you!
This, you getting constantly misunderstood, vilified, memed and called names, when your intentions are utterly noble. These Bharatwaasis truly don’t deserve you,
the wizened minister! All you want is to slash the excess off our pockets so that Alpha Maleji can indulge in his freebies and walk happily into the annals of history. Pure altruism there actually, nothing about acing those vote bank theories!!
Such a small and devoted thought with the hidden agenda that us lazy bones will get fitter with your excises!
Let me explain for further clarity.
This graded taxation on a must movie addendum aka the humble popcorn has our best interests at heart. Caramel popcorn is harmful to sugar patients like me and packaged popcorn and its high salt content is bad for my impending blood pressure if life’s hefts haven’t already bestowed the same upon me. Why don’t the Philistines around get that you are looking after our health diligently?
About that other wonderful thought of yours--an 18% levy on the sale of used cars--old cars are bad for the environment, they shouldn’t be on the roads but tucked
inside our homes.
I am beginning to get how thy neurons work. It’s electrifying na shocking actually!
The underlying benefit here is you want us to cut the lard, walk the talk, and burn the calories. With the rising fuel prices and tanking rupee - sorry rupee isn’t getting weaker but the dollar is getting stronger--we have only our legs to depend on, for mobility that is!
Another point though is that there are hardly any pavements on the roads and we can easily be mowed down by the ever-speeding vehicles which have embraced
their inner bat-mobiles. There too lies a plus point. Swift population control.
Because we can’t afford to fall ill and use a hospital. The tariffs there are enough to induce a flatline even in the hale and hearty.
To wind up, as your well-wisher, keeping in line with your ‘our health first’ policy, I suggest a newer tariff slab. Weight wise taxation.
The greater a person’s weight the bigger the tax they pay for they use more resources of the universe. Their ‘duty’ to the nation!
I may be called out for being offensive and not body-positive!
No worries. I will grin and ‘beer’ it but even that indulgence has become prohibitive for this humble writer-mentor.
So where’s that holy animal again?
To wash away my sins and cleanse my errant thoughts and pay through my nose your every diktat?
Vinamrata Se
AJ
P.S. As someone on the internet said, take our salaries directly and send us our pocket money as you deem fit. Easier on the nerves,
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