Life in a big city is not easy. Mechanized lifestyle, busy schedules, and 24x7 noise of traffic from the roads. Life, in a city, never gets a break.
Ronit too was a part of this city life. Office from 9am to 9pm on weekdays and accounts handling on weekends to earn a little extra money. But most importantly, to keep himself busy, all the time. Though he earned well, he was never satisfied.
He missed her, her soft touch, her mere presence. Busy schedule usually engrossed him, taking him away from her memories during the day, but nights always dug a deep hole in his thoughts, words could never express the pain these nights brought onto him. He used to cry aloud so that somebody could listen to his agony, the unavoidable pain, that certain aggressive rush in his veins to get her back and never let her go. No hushed tones, no whispers, just loud cries, loud and morose cries, but there was nobody to listen.
He would often pour some whiskey and sit in the dark regretting his decision of leaving the land of joy, the land to which he belonged for this so called happy city life. Just because of a few bundle of notes, he sacrificed her love. Although he intended to earn for giving her all the luxuries she deserved, to give her a happy life but he had failed to understand that her happiness was with him. So he left her for the materialistic pleasures that now were like a dagger piercing his heart again and again.
“Don’t go Ronit. You are doing well here. Why are you taking up that city job?”
“It is not enough. I need more money. The city job is offering me the thrice the amount I earn here. I cannot grow in this small town. You have to understand.”
“What would I do without you?”
“Then come with me. Who is asking you to stay here?”
“You know I will never leave this place, I came to this house as a bride and I will only leave this house as a dead body.”
“God! You and your silly traditional beliefs, I am going to the city tomorrow and that is final, even if it means without you.”
He could still hear her silent sobs. She had cried the entire night. He, who meant the most, was leaving her. He cursed himself for getting carried away by the materialistic luxuries. A drop of tear fell on his hand, he wanted her back, he wanted to hug her and cry terribly.
He still remembered that dreadful day. It was meant to be a happy day, he was going back to his happy land to meet her and convince her to move with him. Little did he know that it would not be anything close to what he had thought.
A huge crowd had gathered in front of his house, frail faces were looking at him as he walked past the crowd, fear struck, he didn’t dare to even let his mind think of what could have happened. He froze and did not feel the need to move ahead. Through the crowd, he could see a body covered in white, lying on the floor, he choked.
Next day when he was about to lit her funeral pyre, he overheard some women talking to each other about how she had lost her smile after he left, it was her sadness that took her life away.
He realized that his life will never be the same again, he lost the person who loved him the most and he did not get a chance to show her how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her that he was living in the city for her comforts, for her luxuries, but he knew it was late. He felt responsible for her state, he felt responsible for her death.
It’s been five years since her death but there hadn’t been a single night he didn’t blame himself for leaving her to die. His loneliness reminded him of being a murderer, and all he could do was shout and cry, but his cries couldn’t have brought her back and never helped him ease the pain.
The clock struck twelve and his phone started buzzing continuously. It was his birthday. But she wasn’t with him. Not able to control the agony that was choking his heart, he cried out loud,
“Come back Maa. Just come back.”
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