Smartness Galore

Ours, though not a metropolis, is a Smart City. And we're proud of this fact. Evidences, needless to say, are abound.

To start with, there are smart 'guys' (read cows). Streets are flooded with the holy cow families resting or celebrating family get togethers following sumptuous meals offered by the pious house-owners. Not to say that they weren't smart earlier; Indian cows are born-smart. Only they've become smarter these days. Municipality cow-catchers have become defunct ever since cow became an election talisman. So the cows feel safer on streets than in their sheds. They can splay their hoofed divine limbs while resting on metal-roads, ruminating with nonchalant gusto, with more confidence.

What of the motorists? They're no less smart. They respect their cows and utilise whatever space they're graciously allowed by the sacred bovines. The motorists don't mind inflicting injury to a dog, or even to a human for that matter; but for a cow? They pat it respectfully if a little more space is asked for.

Some not-so-smart drivers occasionally hit a cow, only to confront the smart lot of 'Gou Rakshaks' (saviour of cows), often on motorbikes fashioning saffron (smartest of colours) headbands, to be hurled at with select abuses, if not physically assaulted. 

These smart rakshaks care two hoots for the cows, of course. There role is to make commuters aware of the sacredness of the animals in the loudest possibe manner (with an ominous address of 'O Unkaal').

Then there are smart bikers who seem pledge-bound to break all possible traffic rules taking a trip to the local barber as a Formula 1 event, albeit at the cost of breaking their own necks. 

Traffic police? They smartly overlook such trivial matters. Instead, they  devoutly milk the prospective candidates like auto-rickshaw and truck drivers. 

Regular police match them trick by trick. They smartly avoid taking FIRs of those who don't matter unless there's possibility of a substantial inflow of smart cash. They're busy-bees on festive seasons when they're capable of manufacturing a fault in the most flawless of vehicle papers. For VIPs though, they're even ready to wash their linens; a sign of smartness personified! 

Talking of VIPs, mostly public servants, public matter least to them. They would rather wag their tails in front of netas and ministers, and obey the stupidest of orders religiously. 

Then, can there be anything 'stupid' in a smart city? Helplines are there for public, but only to be answered by the ever-elusive smart babus.

Netas, without a shred of doubt, have remained the smartest of the all; smart city or not. They've become smarter of late by cleverly siphoning allotments for smart-city-project leaving measly amount for smart office bearers.

Corporate houses are as smart, if not more. They're smart players, and keep solving political equations with élan. They and the netas maintain a symbiotic nexas despite each maintaining a holier-than-thou attitude.

General public? Don't underestimate them. They might starve, or their wallets might shrink to the brink, but They smartly keep playing the perennial oneupmanship game of Hindu-Muslim, upper-lower caste, bhakt-liberal, or that of ethnicity.

So you see; it's a win-win situation for all. Let the smartness persist, let the smart asses prevail. 

Wish you all a smart hello from a Smart City.