Hi I am Viki ( Vishal Dhirubhai kaghathara, son of Dhirubhai Karsanbhai kagathara “The Khaman king of Ahmedabad” ) but I love to be called Viki. It looks stylish, hot and sexy  just like me.

I am  5.4” tall ( fairly tall) , dark complexioned, almost same as the model of  face whitening cream  ad who is yet to apply the cream, and  just about 99 kg,   let me clarify I m not fat, I carry the weight  well.  I go to Rocky  gym regularly since the last 7 yrs, which is in the lane of Dholeram ke Samose, close to Kandoi Halwai and in the same building as Jassi de parathe...all my favorites by the way.

My  silky, long, black hair is my USP.  Girls have always asked me, “Which shampoo do you use…Viki?” And  I proudly reply “REVLON”, though I use Asaram bapu’s aritha shampoo…I never share secrets....

But the best part about me is my humour. I am a social person, I have always been mobbed by friends ( mostly boys..huh) They love my jokes, gags, comments. I love them too. Though sometimes I really get a feeling that they are pulling my leg by calling me  ‘Jaadu’ which  means  fatso, but it’s the way Gujju loves Gujjus.  They always invite me to their birthdays, parties, marriages and even Baby showers.  And then at the age of 25 and after being rejected by 20 girls (their bad luck) in last three years, it was my turn to invite  all my friends to the most  amazing event of my life “MY MARRIGE” and this is how the invitation card reads…

                                                                                                              “Jay Ambe”

                                                                     Kagathara family warmly invites you to the marriage of their son.

                                                                                         Vishal Dhirubhai Kagathara ( Viki)
                                                           (Son of Dhirubhai Karsan bhai kagathara and Dipikaben Dhirubhai Kagathara)
                                                                                                              weds 
                                                                                      Ruchika Ramesh Bhai Patel ( Ruchi)
                                                                                                         (MBA, IIPM)
                                                        (Daughter of Renuka ben Rameshbhai patel and Ramesh bhai Ravjibhai Patel)
  
Please come and bless the newly wedding couple.

Invitee:

                                                     Dhirubhai Karsanbhai Kagathara                Dipika ben Dhirubhai Kagathara
                                                     Micky Karsanbhai Kagatharar (USA)          Tina Micky Kagathara ( USA)
                                                     Mehul  D Kagathara                                     Mamta M Kagathara

Plz ..plz..plz .do come to my sweet uncles wedding ..Mintu, Chiko, Bako….

And Entire Kagathara family.

Proprietor of “Dhirubhai na Khaman.” ( Paldi, Ashram Road, and now @ Prahladnagar)
**we use only ground nut oil.

Rocking you bet…!  And soon my life is also going to rock as the Rocking Ruchi rocks!

                 We met just four months ago at my maternal uncle’s place in Baroda. She was wearing pink choli, pink and white sandals, a big gold kada in her right hand and diamond necklace.  Her silky black hair were open  and flying in the fan air. She came to the living room and slowly sat in front of me,  with some 12 odd people  all around us. ( Jatin mama, Jankhna mami, Mehul bhai, bhabhi, Mummy, Pappa and others)  I went to see a bride for myself but these people seemed more excited about it.( like it was their chance to get married again. )

                 She sat looking at the marble flooring and my mom was admiring her by comparing her with some daily soap leading lady,  Sathiya Sath Nibhana’s  ‘Gopi’.  I was looking at her cheeks that were blushing and were of the same shade as mine were at that time.  Then Jatin mama cleared his throat with a bit more than necessary loud voice and spoke to Ruchi’s mom and dad...

“Let me show you my Home, till then these kids can chat.” ( I can’t tell you about my feelings of that moment. God bless Jatin mama for that and may his share market business goes up like Rocket !)

              So, finally after two and half hours of journey from Ahmedabad to Baroda in my dad Maruti Omni, and after extra spicy Sev Usal in breakfast, trust me these barodians eats very spicy Usal and I don’t know how they manage to digest it, and after rejected by 20 girls ( again I am telling you its their bad luck honestly!) I was sitting with the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I wanted to talk to her but  I didn’t know where to start from. I was simply looking at her (actually staring) when suddenly she broke the ice ...

“Do you think I m FAT…?”

( WTF,  what kind of question  was that?,till this time  I believed it was the most obvious  and stupid question that only wives asked their husbands, by those standards this was fairly early.)

“No..no ..no ( at least not more than me) you are just perfect. I mean you look gorgeous. ( And imitating a trained husband I gave her the perfect answer)

She smiled (yes.. half the battle won) and just to make her relax a bit, I asked her the same question and …

 “A bit," she said.

I was like aghast…burning with rage inside.( I wanted to kill all those Halwais, those Pizaa Parlour staff and specially the instructor of Rocky Gym who used to con me telling me that he wants to have a physique like me)

I controlled my emotions and told her, “I am not fat,  its muscles you see, I go to the gym regularly since the last 7 years."

She went to a full throttle laughter in no time. 

Did she laugh on my answer or on my physique? 

Anyways after that we talked on almost about everything from friends to family, from school to college, from Television to movies,  until my nephew Bako came in the room and announced times-up  in the manner of  KBC..Samay Samapti Ki Goshana! 

              It has been four months since that mesmerizing meeting and tomorrow is the D day, 14th February, my wedding day. I am going to marry Ruchi, I can’t tell you how  happy I am,  but more than happiness I am nervous, not because of the post marriage syndrome of life change - no more  friends time, no late nights, nappy changing etc.

The door bell rang,  it was my gang ( Raju, Anil, Jitu and my besty Sunil), throwing a bachelor party to honour the end of my virginity. Infact, I had thrown a bachelor party, in my room.Gujarat is dry state so we can’t drink in open, we enjoy such pleasure behind closed doors only.

“Hey Jaaddu, How are you?, all set..for the hunt…” said Raju,  who alway spoke in double meaning but to the point. He was the first person in our group who got married, and hence most experienced.

“Oh yeah, this man is ready since birth..” said Jitu. He was the richest person in our group and Pakka Marvadi (true blue business minded)

“Leave him man, he seems nervous,” Anil told all of them to get inside the room.

And then he locked the  door. Their eyes scanned the whole room, which was freshly painted and decorated with new furniture ( Yes bed was also new with Kourlon mattress!)

“You seem nervous and confused”, Sunil sensed my hesitation. 

“Ask us man, we are friends, what’s the issue?”

Yes,  they are my friends and I know I can ask them anything. But before I say anything, a Johnny walker walked out from Jitu's jacket, though I have paid for it, he just brought it. I told you he is pakka Marvadi)

“After two pegs, the real questions of life come out” Raju declared and started making pegs for all of us. 

“Not only questions, answers too” Sunil took his glass and raised a toast for me.

“Yes I am nervous” I said with confused confidence.

“Nervous about what brother.” 

After three pegs our English became more generous.

“First Night…!”

“What..?”

They all started laughing, as if they all are seasoned.

Then Raju came forward to me, he put his hand on my shoulder and said.

“Don’t worry man, it’s nothing. I am telling you”, he slurred. His tongue was losing his command but he was speaking, and I was listening. You just go in the room confidently and just do it.” 

Was this a Nike ad, I thought to myself.

“You guys have been engaged for four months,  don’t tell me that you have not chatted late nights with her” Jitu said that and finished his glass in one gulp.  (He was right, we chatted almost every night since we got engaged, only boys knows boys behavior)

 “So what do you think , we did sex on phone?” I angrily defended myself. I had tried to kiss her three weeks back when we met, but that’s it.

 “You know what, Jadddu..” Anil interrupted, “first when you get in the room, go close to her and  give her a costly gift." 

I have already  bought a gold heart shaped locket which has pictures of both of us.

"Then sit next to her, and yes don’t forget to wear a good perfume,  then look in to her eye and rest all will happen …hahahha” 

“You just grab her in your strong arms” Jitu tapped on my arms, actually slapped and then she will be yours brother!”

“You need help?” in that all chaotic and silly suggestions I heard the voice of evil..it was my besty…Sunil.” This is a gift from us to you.”  And he gave me…The Kamasutra

“This has all answers you want to know”

“With illustration in color..” Raju winked.  

             I was in an awkward situation. I mean, why do  we always need books in all exams of life..? Huh...) but I took it. Then we finished our last round of drinks and soon they departed slurring and singing. I put that Kamasutra in a cabinet tucked beneath my clothes and went to sleep, though I did go through some pages before that.

            Next day I wore fancy aqua color Shervani which had golden flowers printed on it, with a royal turban over my head and Rajasthani mojri covering my feet. We reached Baroda at 9 am, I was treated like a king on that day, no one was allowing me to pick even a glass of water. People were dancing, eating and enjoying...and I...I was waiting for night ). Finally at 12.45 pm the Mangal phera started. The Pujari was performing the puja and rituals, and believe me he took hours and I was counting every minute, staring at him.  After 3 hours, hundreds of shlokas and seven rounds around fire, we were declared  married to each other.

          Just when we were about to leave the marriage hall, on cue, Ruchi started crying, then her mom, her dad, her friends, her cousins, her neighbors ( so much so that even I felt like crying!)  Finally we settled in the Maruti Esteem. When we started our journey back to Ahmedabad, I wanted to take her hand in my hand, I tried but she was not comfortable, so I left it. But then she took my hand in her...typical woman. I wanted to hug her then, but  I saw the driver was looking at us through the rear view mirror. With some light talk we finished the journey back home, uneventfully. We reached late evening. It was 8 PM.

         After a hectic day and the wait of 25 years, 25 yrs and last 4 months to be precise, my day had come, well actually night. After some quick chat with my friends, I started my walk to my room, I would have ran, If I could. I was excited; I could feel my blood flowing in my viens. I told myself “control Viki control”. On way I met one of my aunts. She saw me walking faster than normal and started giggling. I was red with embarrasment. When she came closer, she whispered in my ear “don’t worry” and laughed big time. 

For me it was like some UPSC exam. In another five steps I was about to reach my room. So I closed my eyes and controlled all my emotions (Inner and outer) and suddenly my mind tried to recollect all the gyan my friends gave me yesterday, actually the Kamasutra, which I read entirely, before I buried it again in the cabinet. 

I knocked the door and entered the room. She was sitting on the bed, covered with petals, just like a leading lady of a bollywood movie.  I closed the door, just like a hero from a bollywood movie. I stepped forward slowly and sat next to her, exactly as Anil had told me, and I was about to go for next step,  but I smelled her fragrance and I forgot all the suggestions, the steps and the gyan. When she looked into my eyes I was speechless.

 I didn’t know what to say and then she gave me “The Kamasutra” in my hands. I was clean bowled, I was feeling so ashamed, I could not look in to her eyes and before I could say anything lights were off.

After 20 years..

My son is getting married and I am arranging things for him. I still have that gift from my friends.  Our business has grown well and now we have our khaman franchisee across Gujarat.  We still serve the best Khaman in the world and we still use ground nut oil. 

Jay Ambe.