“I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed”   - Paulo Coelho.

The cremation is over and all are back. The house is crowded with people – relatives, friends, neighbours, colleagues who are all gathered to pay homage. Grave silence is hovering and the air is all still as if numb with the unbearable pain. There is a dead silence everywhere, maybe to manifest the irreparable loss by the signature of death.

Srikant, lovingly called Sri left behind his wife and daughter. Padma, a homemaker is hardly 35 years old and her daughter Neetu, just attained puberty. Though his death was anticipated, the irreplaceable vacuum was hard to get filled-up ever. Both are lying on a cot and are inconsolable. Few relatives and friends are sitting nearby unable to pacify them.

Srikant was an accountant in a private firm. They were not very rich but happiness was a part of their small family until Srikant diagnosed with renal cancer. One of his kidneys had to be removed immediately to stop the growth of epithelial tumors. He underwent through surgery but all in vain. His health was deteriorating and gradually his other kidney also got affected. When all the treatments failed, he succumbed to cancer.  Within a span of two years Srikant left them forever

Shattered, Padma and Neetu almost ceased living after his death. Often they broke down helplessly in their loneliness. Many nights they couldn’t sleep. Memories both good and bad kept them awake whole night. Their life became a sunless sky and they felt utter darkness all around, as if there was no hope for light.

Neetu’s intense pain didn’t allow her to forget her dad as she was so close with him. She remembered the time they spend together playing indoor games. He was a good chess player and he had taught her to play and she had picked it up and used to play brilliantly. Their evening walks were the most enjoyable time. She loved to share almost all things with him. Be it joy, pain, doubts, wishes, fears, worries etc. With him around she didn’t face any problems because her father could solve all her problems easily and pull her to normalcy like a magician who seamlessly waves his magic wand and does the unbelievable within a fraction of seconds. He was always the best father and hero for her.

The reality that the kidney transplantation could have saved her father was haunting her deeply. She wished if her father was lucky enough to get a kidney donor, may be then she wouldn’t have lost him. This bitter truth put a great impact on her. At the tender age, she became aware of the importance of organ donation.

Destiny brilliantly plays its role whether people are aware or not. At times, a tragedy is a catalyst for one’s destiny. This tragedy perhaps was one such. It started seeding the very purpose of her life in her even without her realizing it.

Sri’s absence was unfathomable for Padma too. As couple they were connected deeply and their bond was beautiful and soulful. Very few have that kind of blissful marriage. He was not only a best father but a best husband too. Padma felt she was the luckiest and was very proud to be his wife. Sri enriched his family with love, joy and harmony and he did all that to make life beautiful and fulfilling. The most virtuous thing about him was he respected woman a lot and saw them superior to men in many aspects. Unwanted ego or male chauvinism was never a part of his nature. There was not even a single incident she could recollect where Sri lost his temper and made Padma’s life difficult. That was the kind of maturity and understanding he always maintained in his marriage. For him, his family was his everything, his world. Sri often said, he would never let them down or leave them alone. It was a kind of assurance, a sense of security he provided his family to make them emotionally happy.

But death had torn his promise and sank his family in melancholic tides. Padma stood numb on the drifting wedge sailing away through the slice of time. Her unspoken pain travelled as a voiceless whisper in the fading moments. Her tears escaped and despaired to embrace Sri for a lasting solace in solitude.

A couple of months had passed by. All the support which was extended from relatives and friends started to lapse one after other. She stumbled upon unbalanced ground. The future looked like an unconquerable Everest. Padma like a toddler feared to take the very first step and stood scared in front of it. In the ghostly hours she missed Sri like never before.

“Padmaaa....”  A voice called her.  It was Sri’s voice and was vivid. She looked around unbelievably to spot the source of voice. But she couldn't.

“Sriii...... Where are you? Please come to me, talk to me. I am so alone, I need you”. Padma was literally sobbing while searching around badly to catch a glimpse of him.

“Death is not an end but a start! I am with you always. I love you Padma”. She again heard Sri’s voice. This time she got goose bumps!

Padma was sure Sri was near her and feeling her pain, her loneliness and helplessness. A soft warm breeze caressed her exactly like Sri’s consoling hug. It was a soothing, comforting and assuring one. A spark of joy filled her instantly. Sri’s love was so powerful that even after death he is keeping his promise! The very thought that Sri is with her ignited the desire to live again. All her fear vanished like mist with the soft touch of sun rays. 

“I love you Sri. Let me feel your presence. Be with me and let me forget what fear is!”  She said while wiping her tears.

That night she slept peacefully after a long time. Next day she got up with new found courage. She was ready to take charge of her life confidently. She decided to walk ahead in life.

Sri’s untimely death helped them get life insurance coverage. With that fund she started a tailoring unit with half a dozen sewing machines. She hired few lady tailors and worked hard. A few couple of years was a heavy struggle. But finally Padma was able to make a base to stand firmly with her sheer will power and hard work. She secured their life and provided Neetu the best of education and upbringing.

Padma’s transformation was commendable. Neetu was amazed to see the way her mother fought alone with indomitable spirit in the worst phase of her life. She literally rose from ground level and rewrote her destiny. Padma’s fighting spirit and ‘never-die- attitude’ made her the ‘hardest nut’ that life can never dare to break easily. For Neetu, her mother was her role model, inspiration and her source of strength. She learnt from her mother the importance of having a goal, a dream in life. She saw how a goal can transform a person and motivate one to chase a dream to win.

Early exposure to the ruggedness of life made Neetu more sensitive. She developed deeper and broader vision towards life. She grew compassionate and valued humanity a lot. Luxuries never attracted her. Her dreams and priorities were different from normal girls of her age. Getting married and having a family was never in her dream. She wanted to contribute something significant for the society. Only a social activist can do that better, she realized. Neetu’s ultimate dream was to run a NGO!

As Paulo Coelho said – “When you desire something intensely the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”. For Padma and Neetu it proved right.

Neetu while pursuing studies, found few friends who were interested in social service activities. Together they conducted few blood donation camps and made it successful. Destiny was leading her towards her dream.

She and her friends decided to pursue with their passion religiously after their completion of graduation.  Soon highly dedicated people a team of eight formed. Initially they concentrated on blood donation camps and arranged rare blood groups for needy patients. Luckily their works were getting noticed and more people showcased interest to join their team. Slowly they incorporated seminars and workshops to give awareness for ‘Organ Donation’ and its importance. They campaigned at schools, colleges, corporate offices and even went to small villages and spread messages widely and wisely.

Their effective counseling and sincere service attracted much appreciation from people and hospitals. It helped them gain good will fast. Donations from people and organizations poured in and they formed funds for poor patients. During the period they gathered the confidence and ‘Know How’ to run a NGO. With huge enthusiasm they started ‘Sanjeevani’ keeping ‘Organ Donations’ in focus.

20 years had passed, and Sanjeevani turned out to be one of the best NGO in India. The regular aids from India and foreign countries through funds and donors helped them to expand Sanjeevani to almost all states in India. Neetu was the brain and spine of Sanjeevani and she is now heading as Country Director. She travelled extensively all over India and abroad as part of the mission and was highly dedicated towards the cause.

*****

Over the years Padma too expanded her tailoring unit ‘Shakti’ and now she was having the work-force of nearly 1000 women employees. She recognized the inbuilt power of a woman and the capability to fight the adversities. She provided proper focus and guidance to helpless women. She inspired many and made them financially independent. She strongly believed that a steady income can help a woman to earn self-dignity and self-confidence in the society. Padma’s mantra – ‘Woman is shakti. Be Independent’! Was an inspirational message for all women as she had set her own example as an exemplary of her mantra.

*****

Neetu was on a Singapore trip when she got an emergency call from Elena, her close friend and associate in Sanjeevani.

“Hello Neetu, Sorry a bad news! You need to come back with the earliest flight.” Elena said.

“What happened?” Neetu asked in a serious tone.

“Padmaji is hospitalised” Elena said.

“What??!! Mummy is hospitalized??!! When? Why?” Neetu’s voice was stressed.

“Neetu, don’t panic, be calm. In the morning, when the maid went to give Padmaji her bed tea, she found her lying unconscious. She called me immediately and I rushed her to the hospital.  Your mom is in safe hands and doctors are attending to her. I am with her so don’t worry. You come here soon. Be brave and have hope. Don’t worry, everything will be alright. Take care”.  Elena said and disconnected the call.

Neetu sat there for a while completely stunned. Last night she spoke to her mother and she was perfectly fine. What went wrong suddenly, she couldn’t guess the reason at all. Other than age related issues like BP and Cholesterol nothing was there and she took care of illness properly.

Without wasting time she booked the earliest flight and cancelled all the appointments and headed to airport.

Neetu reached hospital same evening. It was painful to see her mother in the ICU. She was always healthy and enthusiastic throughout her life. Elena made Neetu comfortable by giving assurance that her mother would be fine soon.

By then all test reports confirmed Padma is down with brain fever. Next one week was stressful. Couple of severe seizures made her condition even worse. After one week of near to death struggle, Padma succumbed to brain dead, doctor declared.

“Noooo”!!!..... “This is not true, it can’t be!! Neetu was in hysterics.

“Mummy is a fighter! She won’t lose. She never fails!” Neetu repeated and assured the doctors.

“Doctor, please check her once more. She is not dead. l am sure”. Neetu pleaded.

“Sorry Neetu, we tried our best. Padma won’t be back to life. Be brave and face the truth”. Dr. John said in a helpless tone.

Sometimes life seems to throw us down even when we are hanging on only by a thread. Time to time it tests us and confirms how brave or fragile we are!

It was such a tough moment for Neetu.  On one side her mother was brain dead and on the other side she needed to take an important decision of her life. It was emotionally taxing because it was related to her mother.

The mission for which Neetu dedicated her entire life was challenging her through her mother. Whatever she had propagated for the last two decades is asking proof of her integrity silently. Whatever decision she takes, would be impactful and reflective. It would enforce things in a larger way to the world.

Even in tremendous stress, one thing was baffling Neetu, “Why did mummy accept defeat?” The word defeat did not even exist in her dictionary. She lived like a warrior and never tasted failure. She was with all these thoughts when suddenly something clicked deeply and solved the puzzle automatically.

Yes! Mummy never failed. In fact she surrendered first time for a bigger win. Everything was getting crystal clear to Neetu.

Padma wanted to prove lot things through Neetu. The power of the mission, the nobility of the cause, the courage of a daughter, the strength of a woman, the dedication of a true social activist! Apart, there is a hidden message Padma wanted to convey loudly to the world.

“Death is not an end but a start! “

It is the most philosophical, healing and motivating words of her late father given to her mother. It was the spark that helped her to transform into a ‘women of substance’ from a mere home maker. Now her mother is guiding her exactly like her father.

Neetu felt a chill in the spine. She knew her mother would be sad to see a weak daughter getting indecisive to take the right decision at the right time. At last she made up her mind.

*****

Padma’s operation was going on. Neetu was waiting outside OT with heavy heart. Elena was with her providing all moral and emotional support. Even after the best of try Neetu couldn’t keep her emotions wrapped, she was getting more and more restless.

‘Smudging of the last moments hanging at the edge, strings of ephemeral belongings waiting to be free from shallow breaths to thwart and to fade upon the reckless sword of time’…Neetu was all shattered.

After sometime her beloved mother would be no more.  The most precious part, the strong hold of her life would be reduced to just a beautiful memory any moment. The thought that she would be left alone in this big world having none to cry on the comforting shoulders for a consoling embrace when she needs the most broke her fully.

*****

Operation over and Dr John came out.

“Padma’s healthy organs were removed successfully. Few would be getting new lease of life soon. “You can see your mother before the body will be wheeled out to the medical college as you had wished” Doctor conveyed news to a visibly exhausted Neetu.  After a meaningful pause, he continued looking at her.

“Neetu you are not only a beautiful soul but a brave daughter too. Lucky are your parents. God bless”. Doctor patted on her shoulder and said and briskly walked away.

Neetu stood for a while unable to move. Somehow she regained some courage to see the last glimpse of her mother.

Padma was lying on a stretcher, looking calm and serene. Contentment reflected on her wrinkled face, confirming her span of life had successfully completed. Neetu kissed her mother for the last time. A few tears dripped down! Lasting pain condensed and formed perfectly like pearls on Padma’s forehead. It glistened like a memoir of an eternal loss of a daughter.

****

Neetu entered the house her mother would never enter. She went straight to her mother’s room. Everything is placed neatly. On side table there is a night lamp, a Bhagwad Gita, her specs, her father’s photo, a jug of water. Her bed was crease free. She missed her presence, her smiles, her giggles, her scold, her smell, her love, her hugs, her caresses, her kisses, her food almost everything about her.

Mentally and physically tired Neetu lied down on her bed. She hugged her mother’s pillow to feel her and closed her eyes. In the solitude she cried like a kid first time. In the frigid silence night looked darkened. She found herself alone and longed for the impossible. 

 “Neetuuu”.. A sweet voice called her.

Padma is sitting beside her, smiling at her! Neetu stared unblinking. She couldn’t utter a word in disbelief.

“My baby, I am so proud of you. You made me happy. I knew you would keep me alive to see your greatness. I Love you so much my child”. Padma kissed her and vanished slowly”...

Mummyyyyyy......Neetu shouted and opened her eyes with a jerk. It was 3.10 am in the morning!