“…for life is a surprise, waiting to be unraveled. Not always pleasant, but ever the mystery…” and now I’ve officially stopped listening and adhered to hearing because I simply refuse to actively take part in this for a minute longer.

‘This’ being the shi—ahem—crap of a subject I took as an elective for my final year at college and me being the fool for thinking this was going to be my-subject-to-shine-in, ‘cause why not? After all, I can be quite philosophical if I say so myself.

I mean, I’m a computer science major who is too afraid to send in her resume to her dream university for higher studies so I better become a philosopher with whatever life analysis I’ve done for others because so far, they’ve turned out pretty useful.

I break out of my trance to see my peers file out of the lecture hall, and I quickly follow their lead. That is until the professor calls out, “Ms. Diaz, ten minutes of your time, please.”

“Sit”, he says as the final student leaves and the door closes behind her.

Okay then, we’re cutting straight to the chase.

 I oblige and Mr. Santiago does the same. The old man peers at me through his gold-rimmed glasses, “I take you found today’s lecture even more tedious than other days’?” Seeing my sheepish expression, he offers a smile. “The upcoming assignment will be based on this sole lecture and even though I’m sure you’ll do great as always, I would still like you to summarize the last bit of today’s lesson for me”

I clear my throat gently before paraphrasing what he taught a few minutes back.

“You said that life is a surprise, albeit not always a pleasant one but a mystery that we need to unravel,” as I finish, I see him shaking his head lightly, “You never ‘need’ to do anything in your life. You do things because you want to do them or you don’t”.

This makes me bristle, “Sir, with all due respect, not everyone gets a choice to do what they do. They do it because it is expected or required for them to do it in order to achieve a greater goal in life”.

“And do you think life is all about achievements and rewards?”

“In a societal opinion, no. Life is about being kind to others, doing good, and living freely and happily rather than being bound to expectations. But honestly?” I continue, “Yes, life is about what we achieve and everything we’re capable of that we show the world. Sadly, they define who we are and how people treat us.”

Listening to my response, he asks, “Why is it so important what others think of us?”

“It makes us feel wanted and valued…?” He nods slowly, as if in deep thought.

“Why do you think the full moon looks like a zero?” His sudden question makes me ponder, but when I come up blank, he continues, “Because it has been through all its phases, and finally is in peace with its shape, has ‘zero’ expectations and obligations to satisfy those who look up at it. It is a beauty to all and ironically inspires others to do more, achieve more.”

“But what does that have anything to do with being valued?” I ask.

“Everything”, he smiled in response. “We gather knowledge which makes us unique, just like the full moon which goes through all its phases and finally settles on one before beginning a new journey, a new cycle of events. These ‘phases’ of life make us invaluable to others”.

Mr. Santiago stands and walks over to the board and starts to draw waves.

“You are valued because of the experiences you make while accomplishing those goals and achievements you talk about. The life is like this”, he says as he finishes up what he was drawing. He steps back and I see a circle—not entirely. This looks something more like small waves coming together to form a round figure.

“An amoeba?” I chuckle.

He assesses his creation for a moment before joining me with his own guffaw. “Round”, he says, “In the end, you find yourself exactly in the same place you started at, how you were when you started life. Alone”.

“That is dark”, I mutter, but since the silence of the room makes it easy to even hear a pin drop, my professor replies, “It is. But it’s also the truth of life. But unlike the moon, we only get one chance at life. We cannot begin a new cycle after the first one ends.

What we can do is care a little less, be fearless, and do what we have to do. ‘Live in the moment’ is overused so I say, ‘ride the waves’, for we, soon will come back to the point where we started and regret all the ripples of life we missed to stroke with our soul.”

“Why I have never read a book written by you, sir, will forever remain a mystery to me.”

He laughs lightly, “And our ten minutes are up, so hurry to your next class before the professor comes for me”.

As I prepared to leave, Mr. Santiago says, “New York University was once, my dream too”. His eyes hold a knowing gleam which makes me think if he knows about my inner conflict to go for higher education. I nod, “Thank you, sir. See you in class tomorrow.”

As I walk toward my next class, I realize, Mr. Santiago was wrong about one thing.

I just started a new cycle in life.

I am the new moon. I think to myself, “Time to brush up that resume, Luna Diaz.”