“You can only go so far with exercising. You want to make a step jump? Start eating healthy, and you’ll see what miracles this two-pronged approach will produce”, said my fit-as-a-cucumber-salad husband.  Inside my head, two slices of pizza came together in a bang, and out popped a blob of cheese, laughing impishly as I tried pushing him away with all my gymming might. But Cheesy Blob was here to stay.

Two Hundred Calories Down: Choice Architecture

“The key to healthy eating lies in your environment, and the way to build an environment conducive to healthy eating is by choice architecture,” said Mr. Cucumber Salad, borrowing an idea from his favourite thinker, James Clear. The idea was to hide unhealthy food in some far corner of the house, and place healthy food options at every visible corner of the home. So when you came back tired from work, and desperately wanted a nibble, the only options that were at arm’s reach were all good for you.

I came back home tired after a workout, and was ravenous. Too tired to even lift a hand, I stretched my finger and found a banana. I did a mental double hoop in the air, thinking this strategy worked so well for me. Turns out, the celebration was premature. Cheesy Blob plonked himself down when I was in the middle of my second hoop and said, “Remember where you hid that creamy doughnut? Yes, it is inside the green box, on the third shelf, in the fourth cupboard. A typical doughnut has 200 calories. Making an effort to remember where it was stored burns about 50 calories. Pulling the chair all the way from the dining area to the kitchen burns another 100 calories. Climbing on top of the chair, grabbing the box, taking the doughnut out and getting back down burn a further 100 calories. You’ve just earned your doughnut, and can have the banana as a reward!”

Size does matter: Using smaller plates

“Bigger plates mean bigger portions. Research has shown that if you served your dinner on a 10-inch plate instead of a 12-inch plate, you will eat 22% less food over the course of the next year,” exclaimed a visibly excited Mr. Cucumber Salad.  I thought, “Why not just put less food on our existing plate?” and updated my mental calorie counter to read, “Clever counter argument: 30 calories.” I heard the ting, as the counter adjusted itself to read 475. But before I could voice that thought, another clever thought, this time more feminine, made itself heard. “Do you realise what that theory helps you do? That’s right, it helps you go shopping!” And my little pink counter dropped to 455. On seeing the big grin on my face, Mr. Salad got deeply suspicious, as he does whenever a suggestion made by him is accepted with such gusto. I told him, “Oh honey, but we don’t have any small plates. We should go shopping right away.” As if on cue, my daughter chipped in, “Even my dolls eat from those large plates, papa. I think we should buy that cute little kitchen set I saw at the store the other day, so they eat healthy too.” I swear I heard a little ting coming from her direction. The girl had earned herself a cookie, surely.

On our way back from shopping, we put the theory to practice by buying food that needed no plates at all – muffins, crisps and cookies. If 10-inch plates caused a 22% drop, 0-inch plates should cause a 132% drop. Cheesy Blob volunteered to push the counter down to -146. I was going to disappear at this rate.

A tall claim: Use tall, slender glasses instead of fat, shorter ones*

With great trepidation, the now not-as-cool-as-a-cucumber Mr. Salad shared another theory. “Use tall, slender glasses instead of fat, short ones when drinking alcohol or soda,” said he. Turns out, our brain has a tendency to overestimate vertical lines. In other words, taller drinks look bigger to our eyes than round, horizontal mugs, and our dear friend, the researcher, has found you will typically drink about 20% less from a taller glass. And before I could say anything, he said, “We already have tall glasses, so no need to go shopping.” 100 calories off your counter, hubby. He looked at my daughter and said, “Your new kitchen has those tall pink glasses, remember? That’s what your dolls should use instead of the fat purple ones” Ting Ting Ting!

My daughter and I carefully lined up our glasses, jugs and glass vases in ascending order of height. The glass vase was clearly the thinnest and the tallest. We had a vase of wine and Coca Cola each, and I must admit, we both felt as if we’d had 5 glasses at least. At 80 calories a wine glass, I’d saved 16 calories. Cheesy Blob thought I deserved to push the counter down by another 38 calories for doing math when I was drunk. I was at -200 now – a new record for me.

I’m left in a sweet spot, with 200 calories to spare. Should I have an ounce of butter on a tiny plate, the salted pretzels I’ve hidden under the bed in the second guestroom, or a cup full of Soda from the pink glass of my daughter’s healthy doll? Meanwhile, why am I not able to get into my jeans?

*Please don’t sue me pleasantly plump glass. I think you are beautiful and do a great job – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise