Chapter 1

Phew! The day was getting worse by the minute, there was no parking space, and she was already 10 minutes late.  She parked right in the middle of nowhere and went looking for the security, Shashi, who would help her to park in the murky sides of the parking lot.

After giving the keys to Shashi who was grinning on my driving skills for sure, I was running up the stairs to the 3rd floor to my seat. Madame Stella was a hard no-nonsense boss. I didn’t want to cross her by being late than I was already...as if!

Just as she reached her seat and winked at her best buddy Mala, Madame came out with a stern look at her. Oooff!

‘Come to my room Renuka,’ commanded Stella.

Renuka hurriedly picked her note, pen and ran to her boss room. Just before she could enter she told herself, ‘God sake Renu, you are 24 years, calm down and act mature.’ She took a deep calming breath and entered the room.

Stella asked her to close the door and looked hesitant after giving her one look from head to toe. Not today please and not on her dress sense. No matter how much Renu tried she looked a mess on some days. Those days always happened to be important days for Stella!

After seating herself opposite Stella, she gave a nice smile to change the tense air around the room.

Stella started, ‘ There is an urgent requirement in one of the big corporates for Secretary to the CEO for 6 months, if we can do well and prove ourselves during that period we should be able to partner with them permanently. I need you to take it up Renu, it is our best chance and big breakthrough if we can make it.’

Renuka’s artificial smile became a real one exposing her big dimple on the right cheek. With chocolate brown eyes, 5 Ft 4” and rounded figure she was a face turner. That dimple just added to her beauty.

‘Great Stella. I would love to,’ she said happily. Renuka knew business was slow and competition very high, it was important to capture every opportunity. Services Inc had survived the last 5 years with 2 big corporates and some small ones. It needed more to sustain longer. Stella and her husband had built it from the scratch; it was lot of hard work. Though a slave driver, they were good people.  This was Renuka’s first job and last two years has been an amazing learning experience for her. She was ready to take new challenges and one day, one day … start on her own. Dreams!

She came back to reality when Stella put a huge folder in front of her with a thud  and continued on the importance of this job and the advantages …but Renuka’s heart was beating too fast and ears were blocked as she saw the name inscribed in the front of the folder ‘Karthik Enterprises’.

 She wasn’t sure she was reading it right and she was staring at the cover like it was a Ghost!

‘Are you all right?’ Stella was literally screaming at her.

‘Oh  yes yes, I just skipped my breakfast. I will just grab something, read the folder and come back.’ Renuka hurried out of the room.

This day was turning to be a nightmare. She sat at her desk and was a complete blank.

She went through the day like a machine. Back home at 8pm with a plate of noodles and glass of pepsi, with the folder in the table in front of her, Renuka had no clue what she could do.

Maybe she should quit or call in sick but for how long? God! She was going mad!

Coward Renuka! You cannot run away from life. Face it. It’s a great experience, Karthik Enterprises was a large corporate with branches all over India, wide network, planning to open International branches. It would be the greatest experience, the kind she has been waiting for the last 2 years to test herself if she was ready to move on to her dreams.

Here it was and she wasn’t so sure anymore. Be brave. Do it. For yourself and your dreams!

Straightening her back, chin held high, that is how she walked in next day to office. Full of confidence.  She agreed to the offer, read through every single word of the CEO profile.  Was ready to face the world.

It was July 1^st, Wednesday , the day she had to report to the new CEO boss Mr.Karthik.

Karthik…Karthik…Karthik….that name was enough to send a shiver down her spine!

Chapter 2

She was seventeen when they met first and he was 22. It was the grassy floor in the side of her house; she was sitting there brooding over why her dad wouldn’t allow her to go to her friend’s wedding. He came in from behind looking…hot. That is what she thought then, probably first time she thought that about a guy outside movies. With blue jeans and stripped T-shirt half in half out, that who cares attitude. She turned and saw his lips curve into a nice smile. Dark black hair falling onto his forehead. She wished she did wear something better. She was wearing a very lose white shirt and blue jeans, the shirt wasn’t even tugged. Her long black hair was left free, not even combed well. She wanted to look good for him even then.

‘Hi,’ he said

‘Hi.’

‘I am Karthik, nice garden you have here.’

‘Thanks, I am Renuka. I don’t maintain it, the gardener does.’

Smiling he said, ‘I know. So what do you do?’

‘Just completed school, joining your college in BA Lit.’

‘Yeah , dad told me. Welcome.’

I turned feeling not so great about joining a new college, new friends ,not sure at all.

He must have seen, he came closer, stood near me and said, ‘Don’t worry, I am the college President, nobody will hurt you. I will take care of you.’ He has taken a break from his father’s company after a year of training and back to completing his MBA , as if being a B.E wasn’t enough to take up higher responsibilities.

She should have shouted, telling him she can take care of herself but she couldn’t. Instead she smiled and said Thank you. Then they chit chatted there for over an hour. Exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch.

Touch. They did more than keep in touch. They called each other every day, became close, best friends….then lovers. Lovers.

It was in her 2nd year in college and Karthik final year MBA. She was practicing in the college hall for the dance competition.  She was dancing with a bunch of guys and girls, he came in with his friends. From the very minute he had entered the room, she was aware. Her steps somehow where more sexy, it was like she was dancing for him. While they were friends, she wanted more; she never had the guts to go beyond that. He always had girls. Beautiful girls… around him, friends and otherwise. The college beauty queen was always with him. There was rumour of them dating, going around the town. She hated every single one of them. Jealous, Hot red or was it green!

She was dancing with all her focus on impressing him and she looked at him across the dance floor, eyes to eyes…Bang! It was like an explosion inside her, he knew what she was doing and he knew she knew too! At every turn in the dance she kept looking, she never wavered, she couldn’t, didn’t want to. She loved the feeling. She was thrilled, excited all over. Just when she thought she could go on, the dance ended.  All around there were claps for the group of dancers, they were ready for the finals.  At last, she broke the eye contact. She was surrounded by her friends but couldn’t hear a word of what they were saying, her ears were zinging with the excitement.

She delicately extricated herself from the crowd and moving over to get her towel to wipe the sweat and looked out for him in the room but he wasn’t there. His friends were still there, the beauty queen too. Too bad.

It was after 7.30pm, she was packing to leave along with her best friend Meena. She took the public transport along with her. Sometimes on days like this she wished she could have taken up her Dad’s

offer on pick-up and drop from variety of cars in their garage. Don’t go there Renu, you took your decision, stick to it.

They both had stayed back to pack their dance costumes, do final adjustments required and stack up the props. Time just flew. Both were so busy chatting, laughing on sweet nothings, that they did not notice the black car and person standing on its side near the gate of the college.  When she did see, she went still on her tracks and Meena was still saying something and walking on. Since there was no response from her, Meena turned and saw her and turned to the owner of the black car.

‘Hi Karthik,’ said Meena.

‘Hi,’ he responded eyes still on Renu.

‘Late. Practicing this late?’ asked Karthik.

‘We had to pack the costumes, clean up the place, you know do all those small things required to make the dance cool!’ she had that twinkle, smile in her eyes. Like all girls do when they get anywhere near him. Renu noticed and she was walking slowly towards the car. He was still looking at her.

‘Come on, get in. I will drop you girls home,’ He opened the car door for Meena, She crawled without a backward glance. So much for best friend!

Renu got in the front without a word. Karthik went around and started the car. 20 minutes of non-stop chatter from Meena, monosyllabic answers from him. They dropped Meena at the doorstep, said the byes. The car started and there was so much tension in the car, a knife could have cut through it.

Should she talk? Will he talk? Was he angry? She looked through the corner of her eyes, he looked damn serious. Not good, not good. Maybe she over did all those looks she gave him, he didn’t like her. Well, he shouldn’t have looked back, too bad he did! She was not going to hide her feelings. This is it. She was going for it.

They reached, she didn’t wait, got down as fast as she could, literally ran into the house, climbed the 7 steps, into her room and she knew he wasn’t leaving her. Yet.

She put her bag and books down, turned to face him. He shut the door to her room. ‘Okay. Look. I got it.’

Chapter 3

‘What?’

This with his beautiful eyebrows arched. Got it bad, if I notice that even now.

‘I …I…’ He was near me in a flash and I couldn’t breathe. I looked up, brown eyes clashed with black eyes. Oh! They were very very black and beautiful.

‘Do you have a boyfriend?’

‘What? … No …no’

‘Good.’

His face was very close to mine, lips very near to mine. He was going to kiss me. I mean, he kissed me. Soft feel of his lips over mine, then more pressure, then his tongue licked my lips. Hmmm…heavenly. My lips opened, he pushed his tongue and touched my insides….Whoa….my brain has stopped working. My hands are on his hair, soft and silky hair, his hands on my hips and he was pressing me to him. My breasts are crushed to his chest and I like the feel of this.

Then he removed his lips, I moaned. I wanted more. Opened my eyes, his eyes were smiling at me. He gave a quick smooch and carried me to the sofa. Safe bet. He sat with me on his lap. Not so safe.

Shamelessly I was looking into him as if I wanted more of whatever he could give me. He continued to smile and kissed me again.

‘I can’t stop doing that.’

‘I don’t want you to stop.’ That’s me the pussy cat

‘You have beautiful eyes. Kissable lips.’ He kissed me again, little more deep.

‘We need to talk,’ he said. He looked at me as if trying to look deep. Pushed my hair from my face, tugged it behind my ear. ‘I want to be your boyfriend. Best friend.’

My eyes went wide. I stopped breathing. Again.

I must have a wide grin on my face. Because he was smiling at me. I said, ‘You mean best friends who kiss?’

‘Yes.’

‘Yes.’

‘Well. Good. That’s settled. I am sure you have to study. Will see you tomorrow.’ He got up. Put me down. Kissed me on the lips and was turning to leave.

‘You are leaving? So early?’ I was pouting.

‘Don’t pout. I can’t keep my hands to myself when am near you.’

‘Then don’t’

Exasperated he looks at me as if I am a kid requiring a beat down.

‘Not right. Let’s take it slow.’ I nod reluctantly. He shakes his head and moves on. I follow him to the door.

‘I will pick you tomorrow morning for college. Sharp 8.30am. Be ready. Good night.’ He smiles.

I want to jump and high five. But I meekly say, ‘Good night.’

I turn, walk to my room, lock the door and jump up and shout, ‘Yes, yes, yes!’

On my bed, I look up the ceiling and can’t believe that the most drop dead gorgeous Karthik likes me. Hmm…loves me? Well, BF should mean that. No? Whatever, I like it. Maybe this is my dream come true. I mean yes, am ambitious, I want a career and all. But this is equally important. I like the balance of both worlds. He will be a cool husband. I have seen him with this mom and sister. He is so protective, helping, caring. 

Next few days of my life is a walk in the clouds. He picks me, drops me. Gives me gorgeous smiles. Listens to my nonstop chat.

Its Saturday evening, he wants to take me out for a movie. A new Tamil movie, full mushy romance by a leading director. It was my choice. Am wearing a plain cream top and a black skirt with beautiful cream/green flowers leaves spread across. It dropped to just below my knees in zig, zag fashion. It gave me a good shape. I put light lip gloss and mascara. Left my hair free. Older and matured look. Hope he likes it. Am all excited nerves.

His car arrives and I rush out. He gets out and opens the passenger door for me. As I walk towards the car, he gives me a full appraisal.

‘Nice.’ Yuk nice! I give a wobbled smile, not at all sure of my dressing sense. He asks some questions about my day and I give monosyllabic answers and we are there. We have gold class sofa seats. He leaves me in the seat and goes to get some junk food to munch. Right now am all queasy. Maybe I am not that into him. Maybe I am just a convenient break between his other girlfriends. He has a reputation of having all beautiful girls hanging out with him. Movie is going to start, its dark, he hasn’t come back. I sit comfortably, waiting for him. He arrives, sits next to me. Gives me the popcorn – caramel my flavour. I am a sucker for chocolates. Well, that is a good sign. He knows my taste. He puts his hand behind me touching my shoulder, I lean back. Our thighs are touching; I feel a lot of heat through my body. Head to Toe. Movie starts.  Am looking at the screen but can’t see or hear anything. I am all tuned to the gorgeous guy sitting next to me. I am not even breathing. Any minute I will melt on his feet.

I quickly get up and murmur ‘rest room’ and run off outside, like a coward! After looking at my reflection in the mirror, berate myself for acting like a puppy. I adjusted my dress, wiped my face and went back calmly to the sofa. I sat closer, he moved closer. He was looking at me. I turned up my face, he smiled. I melted again inside. He lowered his mouth and kisses me lightly. Wow! Then I turned and started watching the movie.

After interval there was this really sexy scene of the hero, heroin making love, sexy wet rainy song with all slow movements. I went even hotter. I was sweating for sure. I slowly turned up my face to look at him, he was looking at me. He pressed his lips to mine. It was as if he was waiting for me to look at him. It was a sexy kiss. He pressed me hard against him and went deep. Tongue clashing, thrusting deep, deeper…..hmm…Lovely. Then his hands went inside my sweater and he squeezed my breasts with the lacy bra.

‘I want you.’

‘Me too,’ I said.

‘Let’s go home.’

‘Ok.’

He took my wrists and walked real fast to the parking, drove like mad, reached my house, locked the door, went to my bedroom, locked the door. So many locks! Then he pushed me to the door and kissed me again, even deeper. His body pressed in mine. He lifted my tops and removed it over my head, he pulled down the straps of my bra and he looked down at my breasts. I have never been more proud of my C cups! He couldn’t take off his eyes. He touched under my breasts, softly. ‘ Beautiful….’ that’s all he said before bringing his head down and kissed the nipple, one then other, then a bite, then tongue thrusts…oh God, he did wonderful things to the twins. I was floating, mushy, my brains are gone…it was heaven!

He unzipped my skirt and pulled it down. Undid my bra hook and pulled it free. I was left with just my lacy panties. He stepped back and looked at me. I felt cold. His eyes were blacker, there was fire there. All for me. In a flash he undresses and is left with his boxers. Wow, he looked big! My first real look at the male anatomy. I swallow hard. I am scared. Hope he knows am a virgin.

But he gently pulls me to the bed. Seats me on his lap, kisses me lightly.

‘Do you want me?’

I blink. Not sure. I swallow. He smiles.

‘You are the only woman in my life from now on. I haven’t felt this need and want with anyone else. Is that enough?’

I am all gooey. My eyes are wide; I have a big smile on my face. He still waited. I said, ‘yes.’ Then he had his wicked way with me.

Chapter 4

The Man who took my virginity.

Ok. Wrong thought wrong time. She was waiting in the reception in the 5th floor of his office building. Plush with white sofa and steel grey walls. Two beautiful receptionists. They were wearing formals that will probably cost my month salary for sure. She was wearing a cream sweater with black formal pants. Well normal look. Hair in a ponytail, light makeup. May be an additional layer of lipstick and moisturizer than usual. To make the impression on the client and not any person. Sure!

She squirmed a little in her seat. Every second was getting more painful. Was he deliberately making her wait? Did he even know it’s her?

The receptionist got a call, she murmured something, turned to her, smiled and said, ‘Ms.Jayraj this way please.’

Huh! Stomach full of butterflies, Renu nodded her head. Got up with a smile and walked up to the door. Took a deep breath, opened the door and walked in.

He was on the phone, looked up and their eyes clashed. Black with Brown. Renu insides dropped but with raised chin she walked into the room. He pointed his hands to the chair opposite.

Well, she waited. He finished the call in 2 minutes, yeah it felt like 20! Keep your chin up, be brave. This wait was driving me mad.  Finally, he put the phone down, looked straight into her.

‘Good Morning Renu. Welcome on board. There is a meeting today at 4pm with an important client, coordinate it. Take help from Rosy and Hema who are doubling up as receptionists and standing in for Sheila. This is the file on the client, read it and be thorough. Thanks.’

That’s it. He turned to his ipad and started reading. She thought this was an interview, she thought he would smile, ask her how she has been doing, she thought….stop! She got up and walked back. Just as she reached the door,

‘And Renu…’ A pause, she turned back, direct into her eyes with cold black eyes.

‘If you do well, this contract will continue for a year at least, Sheila is not coming back. She is on the family way and looking forward to being a housewife. Thought she was a career woman. You never know what goes on in the head of a woman. Can you?’

‘Good luck,’ he said and back to his work.

Renu slowly turned and walked out the door. The two ladies were moving out, back to their seats downstairs. They will be available on the intercom. They guided her to all files, cabinets which are neatly labelled. She got onto work immediately. Reading, organising, calling, scheduling. She didn’t let herself dwell on her boss’s remark.  Keep busy. Work is the only mantra. At the end of the day, after she had completed two revisions of the minutes of the meeting, circulated it, reviewed the CEO calendar, and arranged for another day of meetings starting at 8am ending 7pm.  At last when she looked up, Karthik was standing against the door to his room, watching her. OMG!

‘Is there anything I should do?’ She asked nervously

He nodded. No. He walked slowly towards her table. Eyes never leaving hers.

‘Coping well?’

‘Yes.’

God, he had a beautiful face and eyes. Strong. She swallowed hard.

He continued to look at her. She couldn’t look away. She was mesmerised. Like always.

Suddenly the door opened. Both of them turned. In came a beauty. Sliding.

‘Hi Sweetheart. How do I look?’  She did turn ramp-walk-like. She was wearing a gorgeous ankle length dress in black with a long slit till here thighs in the back. Tight fitting with a dipping V in the back and sexy V in the front revealing smooth white skin. Lovely thin diamond necklace, matching studs, bracelet. Well, Renu wouldn’t stand a chance before this one.

She walked up to Karthik, put a hand on his shoulder, and gave a heart stopping smile.

‘Gorgeous. As usual.’ Oh!

‘And on time. Let’s go.’ Sexy drawl from her.

My insides felt queasy.  Is this how my evenings are going to be? Get used to it Renu!

Karthik turned to me. I quickly bend down and start arranging the papers on my desk.

‘Hope all is under control for tomorrow Ms.Jayraj.  Give me a call tomorrow at 7am and update on the days plan. You get only 10 minutes. Good Night.’

He turned his smile on the bombshell standing on him. ‘Let’s go plum.’

Plum for her. Ms.Jayraj for me. Great, from Renu to Ms. Formality in one day.

What else were you expecting Renu? It’s not like you were his only woman then or now. Don’t go there!

She closed her work and packed for the day making sure everything was in place for tomorrow’s big meeting. After an hour, in her room, watching some mindless drama in TV, she went back to where she promised she wouldn’t. The morning after.

Chapter 5

It was the best way to come awake in the morning, hugging Karthik warm and hard against her. She wanted to be like that for the rest of her life. She smiled and was awarded with a kiss all over here face and lips. Hmm…this was even better.

‘Good morning.’

‘Hmm…Good morning.’ I looked up at him with all love shining from my eyes. He was shining too, lazily. Beautifully.

That’s how we spent every night after that for a month. I thought we both were sex maniacs. Little did I know that he wanted more…Variety. He had this relative as in his sister-in-law’s sister Arpita. Not real blood relation but his friend. My instincts were right when I first landed in their house for a function with her in. I was madly jealous, but he convinced me that I was being a child till I saw them in bed. Bed. Of all the bloody things. I was actually looking for him to steal some kisses in between grand Diwali celebrations in his ancestral house in a small town and it was a multi-storeyed multi-room house. You could get lost if you didn’t know the place well but I knew his room because I was there the previous night to steal some real half naked kisses and love from him. I was looking forward to surprising him today morning. I slowly walked into his room and peeped inside, but instead of the noise I was supposed to make to make him feel creepy, I feel queasy, seeing him with Arpita all over him kissing him loudly and his hands all over her hips, then I knew. It was too late to know. I walked out of that house with my bag through the backdoor back door. Walked to the town bus stand, caught a bus to nowhere, and called a cab, reached home. How I did that, I still cannot recollect.  I felt dead inside. For days on end. I switched off my phone. Moved temporarily to a friend’s place. Paid a month’s rent. I didn’t even like this girl but I did it. I just didn’t want anyone in my life. Then it was back to college and there he was waiting at the end of the first day in college. Waiting near the gate in his great car. The womaniser. I gave what is called my angry stare. But he came behind me and dragged me to his car. I wanted to shout but couldn’t. I thought I was over the emotional drainage of crying but the tears were threatening again. I blinked, got in his car and was determined to see this through.

His car stopped in my house. We were back in that grass backyard. My back to him. I could feel his anger but I was trying to be cool and stiff.

‘What the hell did you run away for? Why is the damn phone off? Even your dad was worried. Just grow up dammit.’

‘Fine. I have grown up. Realised I don’t need you anymore in it. So leave me.’

He caught my upper arms and turned me around. ‘Come again?’

‘I told you. I don’t want this. You.’  Oh God! I couldn’t look at his eyes. Those accusing eyes.

His stance changed. Suddenly he loosened his grip. His face was calmer but there was pain in his eyes or so I thought but it cleared in a flash. ‘Explain.’

I closed my eyes. Took a deep breath. ‘Look. I wanted to end this some time back. I am not ready for a relationship. I want to work. Am a career person and I can’t do relationship now or anytime in the near future. I need a break. I realised all that big family, celebration, homely girl was not me. I needed to break, so I did it.’

Now his look was full of disgust. ‘Bitch.’ That’s all he said and walked off.  I almost ran behind him to stop him but realised later that it was the only way to cut off from him. Else he would have wanted to have me and others. I couldn’t take sharing.

Then and now….

The same feel of jealousy was running riot inside her now after 8 years imagining how he would be taking and giving pleasure to that beauty.

‘I don’t love him anymore. So it’s not jealousy. It’s just disgust at the fact he hasn’t changed one bit over the years.’

She always got to read about him in most gossip magazines with different models every month or was it every week. Well, who cares? She didn’t.

Next day was hectic and meeting fortunately went well. So did the 7am call which was very brisk, to the point questions and completely professional.

After working for him for two weeks non-stop from 8am to 8pm with hardly any time to have even lunch, Renu was enjoying the Friday evening filing away and catching up on the backlog work, happy that her boss was in meeting in another section of the building with his management team. She wasn’t required for this meeting. It was a relief to get her own time without him hovering around making her nerves jump.

She was enjoying the work but couldn’t help notice small things like his thick hair, his smile for others, his hard eyes when negotiating, his shining eyes when someone joked, how well his coat fit his broad shoulders. He still looked sexy. Yummy!

‘Day dreaming?’

She jumped in her seat and the papers in her hands fell. She stood immediately making the file, stapler and pen fall down too. She was a nervous bundle! There he was slanting on the doorway with a smirk on his lovely face, hands in his pocket. Her heart dropped to her stomach.

She stared back with an outer calm she wasn’t feeling. He raised his eyebrows expecting her to go down to pick up the things. She stood her ground waiting for him to walk to his room.

‘Those are important papers. Can’t have them down Ms.Jayraj’

Hit me. ‘Yes Sir.’

No choice now. She sat down and started collecting the stuff. He came around the table and started helping her. She stood with whatever she collected and started arranging. He got up with the rest and was very close to her. She couldn’t look up to him. He wasn’t moving. She slowly raised her eyes and looked up. He was looking at her. Now at her eyes. Now at her lips. She licked her lips. He was looking at her as if he wanted to eat her lips for dinner. She couldn’t breathe. His hands snaked out to her waist and pulled her to him and he kissed her. First light testing of her lips with his lips, then his tongue was inside. They were exploring each other, drinking from each other as if they were starved without it. Her hands on his chest. It was minutes, hours and days. She lost all sense of time. In the end, it was he who pulled away and stepped back.

‘Are you ready for a relationship Ms.Jayraj?’

God! How insulting can this get? What was she thinking? Huh! Not thinking?

She just stared back. Regrouping right in front of him.

‘Is there anything I can do for you Mr.Karthik?’ Huh! What a dumb question?

He looked surprised, and then laughed out loud with his head thrown back. She colored embarrassed. His mobile rang and she was saved. He picked the call and walked to his room but his eyes never left hers.

When his door closed, she quickly cleaned her desk and left the office.

CHAPTER 6

After a hectic cleaning weekend at home, Monday dawned bright and sunny. Renu felt like a bundle of nerves going into office at 8am wearing a sober grey suit with white shirt. She wanted to avoid her boss at any cost today and melt into the background. No such luck!

At 9am sharp he arrived with a big smile on his face as if his weekend was the best ever, he gave a cheery ‘Good Morning’ for her.

Just as Renu breathed in a deep sigh, the intercom rang, she picked the phone and promptly his sexy voice told her to come in. Oh God!

Renu walked in. He was standing near the window with his back to her. The morning sun outlining his strong body which was glowing. She took a deep breath.

‘Close the door.’

She did. He turned around, slanted his head and gave her full appraisal, lingering on her breasts and reaching up to her eyes. Suddenly she felt that the grey dress was too tight, short, sexy! He was turning her insides with just a look. Don’t fall for it Renu!

She walked up to the desk, he came around the desk. Pulled her clip and she gasped. He smiled his sexy smile.

‘You have beautiful hair. It’s a crime to hide it.’

‘I come to office to work, it’s better that way,’ was my sharp reply. His smile dimmed a little but said, ‘All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.’

‘That’s for Jack not Jill,’ she replied promptly. He laughed and she liked the sound. He moved in closer, hands on her shoulders. His eyes piercing hers. She was lost in the ocean of blackness. He rubbed her lips with his lightly.

‘I have been thinking about our kiss. Dreaming about it. I want more. More Renu.’ He deepened the kiss and she was lost. She opened up, hands around his hips, his hands on her hair. They broke it only to come up for air. He didn’t move, just continued to stare.

‘You have your career Renu. I want you. We can do this in parallel. Keep our personal and professional lives separate. I am not looking for a wife and family. Nor are you. We have a year together. If at the end it doesn’t work, we can part ways. Or….’ He paused. ‘ We can continue. This way all the gossip about my womanising will stop.’

She opened her mouth to protest. He stopped her with a hand.

‘It’s important for me to stop this gossip. You know my parents, they are old and not very healthy. Dad just recovered from an attack. Mother has her asthma bouts. They will be happy to know am having a steady relationship, especially if it’s you, they will be satisfied.’

She moved away. He turned around and went to his chair.

‘I…I don’t know,’ she said. Unsure what to say. She liked his family, they were always sweet but to act before them. ‘I can’t act before your parents.’

‘You won’t be acting. We are going to have a relationship. Based on our physical needs. That is the only relation we know. Isn’t Renu?’ He looked at her with so much intensity that she didn’t want to react too much.

‘Yes, of course but your parents. They will feel even worse when we end it,’ she said.

‘If we end it sweetheart. Who knows we may continue this. Being the ambitious, career oriented people we are, this would work out for us. After all, we felt this burning intensity 8 years back and it has only increased between us’

Her cheeks went pink. She was hot. That voice, those words.

‘I…I need time. I want to think about this.’ She stammered.

‘Take all your time. I will be waiting here. For you.’ He paused. ‘Now let us go through the Smith and Jackson deal.’

Just like that he turned professional and started dictating to her. She forced herself to concentrate and focus. The day passed quickly.

When she returned home, she was cooking, cleaning, bathing, eating but refused to sit in a place postponing the need to think and decide on his proposal. At last, at 10pm with nothing else to do, she fell on her bed and looked at her ceiling. This was it.  Time to decide.

Point 1 – She wanted Karthik. Badly.

Point 2 – She cannot afford to lose her job.

Point 3 – She wanted marriage and kids and family.

Point 4- She didn’t want to fall in love with Karthik. Again.

She got up and called Karthik in his mobile.

‘Well, well, well. Are you going to invite me to your place?’ He said even before she could say ‘Hello’

‘No,’ she replied curtly.

‘Ok Renu. What do you want?’  You!

‘I have some conditions,’ she said

‘State them.’

‘You have to be faithful.’

‘Agreed.’

‘If we part before the one year because of you then my job remains here.’

‘Ok but if it is because of you?’

‘Then I will ask my firm to replace me. But the contract with my firm should stay.’

Pause. ’OK.’

‘No…hmm…sex in the office.’ She closed her eyes tightly awaiting his revert.

‘Ok, but kisses must.’

‘No.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s bad to get caught like that.’ She squeaked.

‘It won’t be a secret. We will be going out. Seen in public.’

‘But we can’t mix business with pleasure.’

‘That’s what we are doing,’ he laughed.

‘I am not comfortable,’ she opposed

‘You will get used to it. I will give you time. Ok?’

She was biting her lips.

‘Stop biting Renu.’

‘What?’

 He laughed. Someone should bottle up that sound and sell. It was a great sound!

‘Can I come to your place Renu?’

‘No. Not today. I need time.’

‘Ok. Anything else you want to discuss?’

‘No.’

‘Goodnight sweetie.’

‘Goodnight.’ She hung up quickly. Oh God! Her insides were warm and she wanted him to call her sweetie again. How pathetic can I get! She hit her pillow desperately and tried to sleep.

Chapter 7

It was Friday. She still hadn’t told him when to start. He was extremely professional to her. No indication that they even had this discussion. Renu had doubts if she had dreamed this entire episode 4 days back.

She was clearing the papers, segregating them to close for the day, when he walked out of his room and came to her desk. She stood and looked at him.

‘I have two tickets for the latest Akshay Khanna blockbuster for 9.30pm show tonight. Will pick you up at 7.30pm from your place,’ He smiled.

‘I…I,’

‘4 days is enough time Renu. I am not giving another night. Be ready.’ He walked out. She blinked. This is too fast but she knew it wasn’t. She should have said no when she could, but she wanted this right? Well, yes she always wanted him! That isn’t going to change soon. Now she knew why she couldn’t go out and enjoy relation with any number of guys who were interested in her. She always wanted him or someone to match him. His eyes, hair, smile, looks, walk, laugh. Damn!

She was ready at sharp 7.20pm. She was wearing a half white with pink flower chiffon skirt with square neck and half sleeves. It fell just below her knees. She was wearing 2 inch light pink heels and simple thin gold chain and matching earrings and bracelet. Simple and elegant.

The door bell chimed. Let’s do it!

She opened the door with her hand bag and ready to go. As soon as she opened their eyes met. He smiled and appraised her.

‘Beautiful.’ He looked handsome too. But she did not say so.

‘Thank You,’ she said.

She locked the door and they went for dinner in an Italian restaurant in the same mall which had the cinemas. They had an enjoyable dinner and were seated in a sofa for two for the movie. It was just like 8 years back. Maybe he planned this. But through the movie, Karthik was totally into the movie. In the break he got popcorn and drinks. Not one sign of flirting or touching or even a look at her that was giving her any indication of what will happen after the movies. Renu was a complete bundle of nerves and she couldn’t a single scene of the movie later as Karthik took her home and unlocked her door and got in with her. He gently tugged her to the back of the door and stood with his hands on either side of her. Looking at her huge brown eyes, he smiled.

‘I won’t do anything you don’t want me to Renu,’ he said gently.

‘You won’t?’ she sounded sultry.

‘No. I just want to kiss you. Can I?’

She looked at his lips and then at his eyes. She licked her pink dry lips. She moved forward an inch, touched his lips with hers. Boom! There were lights, stars, fireworks all over.

Then he was all over her and she was all over him. They were tightly hugging, touching and kissing so deeply. They came up for breathe and again kissed and again and again. Then she removed his button and put her hands on his chest. He pulled her skirt up and held her bums. He kissed her behind her ears, her neck and was going down…when she pulled him up and kissed his lips again. He just carried her to

the sofa and put her on his lap. His one hand on her waist and another inside her skirt, still holding her bum.

‘I want you. Badly’ He said huskily, ‘Can I take you to bed?’

She opened her eyes, looked at him and said, ‘Yes.’

She wanted this. Him. Anytime. Anywhere. It was in that moment when he carried her to the bedroom that she realised that she wanted him and only him. Anyway she could.

He put her down gently near the bed. Kissed her lips very softly. Then removed unzipped her dress and slowly bought it down. She was wearing half white satin chemise. He looked at her and the peaking nipples. He touched it gently with the tips of his fingers and it peaked more and she moaned with her face thrown back. He looked at her face and then lowered his lips to kiss the pebbles through the satin cover. He bit it and her dress was wet. He gently pulled down the chemise along with her bra straps. She was naked waist up. He just looked at her for a few seconds.

‘More beautiful then I dreamed.’ Oh! She got goose pimples all over and shuddered when his lips touched  her naked breasts. He held her waist tightly and dragged her to him. He was kissing, licking, sucking her breasts one after another. Then he removed her skirt, chemise all the way. Removed her bra and panties and pushed her to the bed. He undressed himself without his eyes off her. She was staring at him like a teenager and when he removed his boxers she couldn’t drag her eyes off his hard manhood. He was so gorgeous and with more hard muscles and even sexier than he was 8 years ago.

He smiled at her open adoration and come down on all four over her. Then put his hands between her legs and slowly touched her slick wetness. She closed her eyes and bucked towards him. But he didn’t move.

‘Look at me,’ he commanded gruffly. She obeyed and fell into the deep black of his sexy eyes glazed with passion for her. He made her come with a scream. Then lowered her body on her and kissed her all over from lips to her navel and travelled licking her wetness. She had not experienced this intimacy with him 8 years back. They were both shy and not this bold. Mostly their haste for sexual released resulted in their coupling without any foreplay. This was mature, Karthik enjoying, tasting, and giving her pleasure as much as taking it from her. She cried out his name when he made her come with his mouth.

Then he covered himself with condom and with push come into her and stilled. Her eyes widened and he quickly kissed her softly all over her face.

‘Sorry sweetie. I lost control. Let me know when you are ready.’ She eagerly nodded. She was ready.

He slowly pushed out and in, out and in.

‘Karthik,’

‘Hmm…’

‘Now. Please,’ she moaned in desperation.

He increased the pace of his thrusts. He was reaching the edge but he wanted her to come first.

‘Come for me sweetie. Now!’ She tightened and released her body with a scream which he kissed and then he shuddered into her with all his force.

He felt her move and knew he was heavy on her and dragged his body out of the bed and went to the bathroom to clean up. He then got a warm towel and cleaned her between the legs. Then went into the covers and hugged her from the back and kissed her hair.

‘Goodnight sweetie.’

She was already into sleep, smiled and moved back closer to him.

Chapter 8

She woke up to some noise. Her body felt deliriously lazy and felt warm inside. Then she shot up abruptly as she remembered ‘Karthik’.  Oh no! She wasn’t even drunk to realise this now. She rubbed her face and quickly went to the bathroom before Karthik came to the bed. He was in the kitchen and that was what woke her.

She quickly brushed, showered and moved back with a towel wrapped around her to her closet. She was into her panties and hooking her bra when the door to the bedroom opened with a loud

 ‘Good Morning Sweetie.’

Her hands slipped and hook didn’t go through, she turned. He was wearing his crumpled pants and shirts with sleeves rolled up holding a tray of sandwich and smoking coffee. She was staring at him with her mouth open. He kept the tray near the lampshade and come over to her and hugged her tight around the waist and kissed her soundly.

‘Hmm. I could get used to this morning kiss.’ Then he bent his head and kissed her hardened nipples. Don’t even ask why it was hard!

‘Oh,’ she sighed and he licked and sucked both her nipples and carried her to the bed. Removed her bra and sat next to her in the bed and gave her the coffee cup. She was still staring at him like a dumbass!

Her brains were non-functional and her body was not listening to her. She sipped her coffee and as the heat spread she slowly started reclaiming her brains and her control. He was biting into the sandwich and looking at her with his half closed eyes. Sexy look that could land a thousand ships with females in bikinis.  Naw! Don’t get into looks Renu. You are sucker for his looks. She looked away. Slowly kept her coffee cup and tried to slowly move away and walk to her closet.

She reached it at last pulled a T-shirt and wrap around skirt just for speed of wearing. She just wanted to cover herself. Quickly.

She then turned and walked towards the tray to pick a sandwich as casually as she could under his intense scrutiny.

‘I like the braless look,’ he smiled sexily. Instantly her nipples peaked. Yawk! He saw it too. She wanted to pour the coffee on his head for blatantly enjoying her discomfort.

He pulled her to his lap and hugged her tight and kissed her in the neck.

‘One whole night of intimate sex and you are still trying to shy away from me? Renu , anybody would think it was your first time having sex.’

No God. Please. Let him not guess.

Suddenly he stilled. He turned her towards him. Held her face with both his hands.  Black eyes met brown eyes.

‘This is the first after 8 years Renu. Right?’

She looked vulnerable for a millisecond and quickly composed her face, lifted her chin and looked him dead on.

‘None of your business Karthik.’ He smiled and had a smug look on his face. Damn it. He knew.

She pulled free and walked out of the bedroom. He chuckled and followed her with the tray. He went into the kitchen and cleaned up the tray.

When he came back , she was standing near the window looking out to the road and slow moving traffic of Saturday morning. He moved towards her and hugged her from behind. She stiffened.

‘Renu, we both enjoyed what happened last night. Leave the past where it is. Let us move forward. I want you.’ He turned her around and held her face. She couldn’t hide her uncertainity.

He kissed her forehead and said.

‘Let us take this one day at a time. We will move slowly. We will keep the official and personal life separate. Let us see where it takes us. Don’t think too far ahead or reminisce the past. Please.’

It was the please that sealed it. She just hugged him tight and let him cuddle her. After that they went out. Walk in the Park, lunch, watching TV and passionate love making in the nights. Her weekend flew.

Chapter 9

On Monday, she was bubbling with enthusiasm when she came into the office. She was wearing fawn colored skirt with matching blouse and white shirt. The intercom rang. Karthik was already in office.

She picked the call. ‘Hi.’

‘Good Morning Renu. Mr.Kapoor from JTC is in my room. Kindly bring the proposal to my room’

‘Yes Sir,’ she said instinctively.

‘And Renu, bring some coffee too’

She replaced the dial. He sounded so formal. Maybe he was already bored with her. He was moving on. Again!

She took a deep breath. Took out the proposal and got the coffee from the coffee maker and walked into his room with the tray and folder.

They were seated in the sofa. A bald head near his fifties, Mr.Kapoor, greeted her with a smile but was intently listening to Karthik.

Karthik continued to talk as if she didn’t even exist. She sat across the sofa and handed over the proposal. He took it and gave it to Kapoor.

After 30 minutes of taking notes and being ignored by Karthik, she walked out of her room along with Mr.Kapoor who said his thanks and left. She went back to her desk feeling depressed.

The intercom rang again.

‘Renu, bring the number of contact numbers of Frontier builders and Mega cements. We need get the status from them.’

‘OK’ She sounded low and pathetic to her own ears. What is wrong with her? She cannot let him ruin her. So it was one weekend. Well she can spend next 60 yrs thinking about it, at least she had this. Better than what she had last week!

She walked into Karthik’s room without looking at him. She went directly to the phone and started dialling the number. She could see from the corner of her eyes that Karthik was moving. He took the phone from her hands and kept it down. With the other hand, he pulled her waist towards him and nuzzled her neck. He was turning her to him but she pushed him.

‘Whoa! Stop!’

She was glaring at him angrily. He was laughing.

‘Who said I was supposed keep the personnel stuff out of office? Me?’

Her anger melted. She was a complete fool. He was being professional and she was being a clinging fool.

‘I...I am sorry.’ She murmured.

He came near her and kissed her softly on the lips.

‘Let’s work now.’ He went around his desk and started reviewing the file. It took her few seconds to regroup and concentrate.

Every night after 9pm he came to her place and went back in the early hours. Weekends were either at his place or at hers

She was at her happiest. She was learning more officially. Karthik was going out of way to teach her and she was glowing in his indulgence. She was being taken out for all parties, dinners. He was always getting her flowers, small gifts.  Nothing happy ever lasts!

It happened one Sunday. She was going with Karthik to his home town for his Grandmothers birthday. It was her 90th and so it was way too special to miss. Renu was dreading this visit. Karthik insisted that she come. So here she was, draped in saree that was orange with light gold threads in the border. Karthik couldn’t resist kissing her and they were almost in bed before better sense prevailed. They had just reached the big palatial house. He was holding her hand and taking her inside. His mom welcomed her heartily and they went straight to Grandmother’s room to seek her blessings. It was crowded with too many people and she couldn’t figure out who was who. After wishing , when she was pushed away from Karthik. She realised that to her right was Arpita and gang. Gang as in Karthik’s friends/neighbours who were are eligible to marry him. Not again! Her nightmares ran in vicious circles. She was back where she ran from. But she wasn’t running this time. Come what may she was sticking to him. He was hers!

Huh! Where did that thought come from? She was in deep trouble here. 8 years down the line she is even more in love with him. She looked up at Karthik, he was busily talking to someone, but he turned and looked directly at her and smiled. She felt warm inside. Hers.

She moved out with his mom and went around helping, socialising with others. Around lunch time, she went to the restroom to freshen up. When she came out, Karthik was standing right there, with his sexy smile. He pushed her into the bathroom along with him and kissed her passionately.

‘Someone is going to come now.’

‘Let them. This cannot wait. I have been wanting to touch you here ( that was hips exposed between her blouse and saree) and here ( her back exposed by the low cut blouse).’ He was kissing her, touching her. His hands moved up to her breasts and down to her bum. He was sexy monster. She was his slave. She moaned. He kissed the sound.

‘Sssshh. No sound,’ he purred against her lips.

He lifted her saree and removed her panties. He put his fingers in her slick wetness and pushed into her. He thrust with his fingers real fast and hard. She came in 2 minutes screaming into his mouth. He put her panties into his pant pocket and kissed her hard and walked out of the bathroom. She felt so disoriented that she stood there against the wall. After some 10 minutes, she came out looking cool outside but totally fussed up inside. She felt naked without her panties. She was so self-conscious that she felt all eyes were on her. Throughout the lunch, Karthik looked at her with a smug smile. She was going to take her revenge. She turned to her right where one of his cousins was trying to flirt with her outrageously. She smiled at this guy, Sumanth or was it Shyam. Whatever, she encouraged his talk and smiles. When she got a glimpse of Karthik in between, he looked furious. She raised her chin and turned again to smile at S. After lunch, she found Karthik surrounded by Arpita and her gang. He was obviously enjoying being the center of attraction for a host of beautiful girls. She wanted to turn around and run. In the last minute, she changed her mind and sashayed into the group.

‘Excuse me girls. I will need my man to show me around the farm. Let us go darling you promised a private lesson in farming,’ in her best bitchy voice, she tugged his arm and pulled him out. When they were alone and outside the house, she turned around with her hands in her hips and was on the verge of screaming at him, when she saw the laughter he was controlling and amusement in his eyes and she burst out laughing too. Then just as suddenly, he pulled her to him and kissed her hard.

‘Don’t make me jealous. You are mine.’

‘Same goes,’ she said haughtily.

He smiled and said, ‘Come, I want to show you something.’

They walked, then took lift from a tractor and in the end reached the shore of the beautiful river.

‘This is where I spent most of my holidays as a boy. It’s my most favourite place. This is where I wanted to bring you 8 years back and propose.’ He had his hands around her. They were standing facing the river with her back to him. She went stiff.

‘You must be joking?’ she said without facing him

‘No,’ he murmured in her ears. She moved out of his hold towards the river.

‘I would never have been enough for you Karthik. You liked girls and …and …variety.’ She said.

‘What?’ He moved towards her and turned her around to face him. She didn’t look up at him. ‘Who told you that?’

‘Nobody has to tell me. I know.’

‘What do you know?’ he asked frowning now.

‘I was here Karthik. I saw you in bed with Arpita in your room. In the same room where you had kissed me hardly an hour before. I saw it with my own eyes,’ she screamed angrily now.

He didn’t respond. Didn’t move. She turned around and saw him staring at her. She tried to walk but he stopped her by holding her elbows.

‘Wait. You are wrong. Arpita came to my room. She was trying to kiss me. If you had waited you would have known that I pushed her off and slapped her face. The only time I probably hit a lady in my life.’

She looked up at him. Confusion in her eyes.  Was she wrong? All these years?

‘Yes. You were wrong then. After that dance in college, I was convinced that no other woman could satisfy me. In the last 8 years I have had some girlfriends. I won’t deny that. I thought I had lost you forever.  I was angry that you were selfish. Why didn’t you tell me Renu?’

‘I …I was afraid. I was too young and did not know how to trust you.’

‘And now?’ he asked softly.

‘Now am ready to fight for you. Talk to you. Love you,’ she said the last one huskily with her hands on his face.

He smiled and kissed her thoroughly.

‘I love you too.’

‘Oh Karthik. What a waste of time!’

‘It’s never a waste. We matured and we trust each other now.’

She hugged him tightly.

‘Karthik.’

‘Hmm…’

‘I never wanted to be a career woman. All I wanted was to be your wife and have your kids.’

He pulled her up and looked into her eyes.

‘What are we waiting for then? Let us go and get married tomorrow in the local temple. We can register later legally and start making the babies.’ He hugged and kissed her passionately and they walked to their house hand in hand.

This was her dream come true.