'If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for them or forget them.'                      

"The zenith,the limit was what I had experienced.Something which was not meant for me.Something that I could never imagine..." with these words I closed my diary and went to sleep, my eyes sullen, my tears salty.

It was a bright sunny morning, a new happy day, full of new hope, for everyone, but not for me. For me,it was just a dark sunrise, covered with shadows of the past.

The sun rays somehow found their way into my room and woke me up. I had no one who would carress my hair and wake me up.I had no one who would sit beside me and give me a good morning kiss.I was all alone.

Just like the whole world, the sun rays were very also cruel to me, not letting me sleep.

With sleepy eyes, I sat on my bed with folded legs, as if waiting for a whiff of fresh air to fully awaken me. I looked around my room, nothing had changed, nothing ever changed...except the calendar date. It was that date, yet again. 

I got up from my bed and went near the window.Outside, the world was waking up. Inside, it never quite did after that day. A lonely drop of tear found its way down my eyes. I could feel the words that never came out of my mouth...Mom...Dad..Didi.

I usually ignore my thoughts and go about my daily routine, but something make these painful thoughts to linger on. A family was playing in the garden outside my window. I closed my eyes and drifted into the world of memories.

I could see myself running across the whole garden while my mother was busy tickling me.

"Mom leave me,"

"Ha Ha...not so soon,"

I was upset and she had decided to make me laugh and then started the chase. 

I could see my dad smiling at me and my sister cuddling in his lap.

The door bell brought me back to my lonely room. The flowers were delivered. I got ready, picked up the flowers and started the walk that I dread each year. Yet, I know, this is my chance to meet them. However, today was special, today I want to reclaim my life. As I walked on the cobbled street, that day came back as a flash.

"I hate you Dad,it is my first live performance and you all will miss it. You should have left early." Before my dad could even reply, I had disconnected the phone in frustration. I went on the stage and gave a half hearted performance. The audience applauded me but something went amiss with my family not being around. 

I kept cursing the rain that caused the traffic snarl and stepped off the stage. My friend stood there with a pale face. 

"Your family met with an accident..."

The words did not register, the voice seemed to be floating in, a deep dark blanket covered me. 

The rain drops brought me back to the gate that opened into the graveyard. I had reached the place where my family rested. 

'I could not meet you the last time, I could not talk to you or look at you, pardon me for being rude that last time.'

I am lost in time and this is my life, lived in memories, of people long gone, of momemts long lost, stuck in time in this day for the last two years. There was a time when I had decided to end it, but my memories made me strong. I decided to live and reclaim my life. 

I have decided to never come back to this graveyard, I have decided to move forward.

As I walked out of the graveyard, the heavens pour out. My family had shed it's tears of joy as I moved on, with their memories in my heart.