Be mine

“I am not interested…Baba.” Pauli was on the phone, while Krish held her hand.

 “What do you mean, my dear child? Again a ‘no’? They want to finalize the dates…”, the dismay in Mr Roy’s voice apparent.

 “Baba, I have found my match, he was a year senior to me in IIM. His name is Krish Kapoor and he is in the same company as me but posted in Delhi.”

 “Kapoor? You didn’t tell us earlier?” Mr Roy exclaimed, happy that his darling daughter had at last fallen in love.

“No connection with the film industry, Baba, and I didn’t hide anything from you…I came to know him only during the last fifteen days. He proposed marriage and I said yes.” Pauli smilingly replied, looking indulgently at Krish all the time.

 By the time the conversation ended, Pauli turned around to find that Krish had already prepared tea. “So, when do I meet my father-in-law?” Krish asked Pauli.

“Three more days to go...you’ll be impressed…”, she replied, her arms around Krish.

The last fifteen days were like a dream for Pauli. She had never thought that she would ever fall in love, and now at the age of 26, the impossible had happened. Krish had bowled her over with his smiling, good-natured and caring ways. She was madly in love. He was the Project Leader of their group, exuding dynamism and charm in the way he presented his ideas. Pauli was totally in awe of him.

 “Let’s meet for coffee and discuss about our project”, Krish spoke to her after the session got over on the first day. She nervously nodded her head in agreement. He was very chatty, laughing and smiling all the time. She was initially hesitant to talk much, but gradually opened up…about her life, her parents and her friends.

 Pauli felt an unknown fear when she went to bed that night. Was she in love? Why did her heart always flutter when he looked at her? The intensity with which Krish looked at her, Pauli was sure that he was in love with her too.

 Impossible…it must be infatuation. How could she ever trust someone again… after what happened to her on the fateful evening two years back? Her own relative…her father’s cousin brother whom she had the highest regard for had molested her. They had gone to watch a Bengali movie...it was he who insisted that the movie was a must-watch. She treated Kaku like her elder brother...they had an age difference of about 7 years only. She later understood that it was a plan on his part to choose such seats with nobody sitting close by. She had almost shrieked when he snuggled close to her and touched her lips and simultaneously attempted to kiss her forcibly, holding her hands tightly so that she could not break free. “Leave me...or I’ll yell!” she whispered.

“I love you very much. I miss you when you are away…let’s be together forever…I have wanted to tell you this since the past four years…I’ll wait...sorry for what happened now…I couldn’t resist you,” he muttered releasing her. She panted breathlessly and getting up from her seat to leave the hall, she said ferociously, “Don’t ever come to our house when I am there…I just hate you.”

On the fifth day at the garden party that was organized by the trainers, Pauli looked lovely in a blue gown. She was waiting near the entrance of the garden for Krish who was on a call with a foreign client. After about ten minutes, she saw him walking briskly towards her. Pauli was surprised when Krish took hold of her hand and said, “You look lovely. I want to speak to you alone. It is very urgent.”

Conscious of the crowd around, a dumb-founded Pauli almost whispered, “Leave my hand”.

Pauli realized that Krish was in no way to relent and holding her hand more firmly now, said, “No way, I would like to be with you forever”. Hearing the words made her dizzy. Oh God! Those same words. Do all men use the same words when they want a woman?” She had to be very careful about this guy. She muttered, “How can you even think like this? We met just five days back”.

 Pauli now found Krish looking seriously at her and saying, “I had to tell you. I don’t know why, but I feel as if we know each other since ages. I guess I am in love with you. But you can take your time to decide. I am willing to wait for you till you are ready.”

“And if I am never ready?”she asked. Her eyes met his as he smilingly replied, “No problem”.                                                                                               

After she returned to her room, Pauli sat in the balcony in the darkness wondering about this new development in her life. She was in love; he had proposed and she had not accepted his proposal. She was not prepared for marriage. She had started loathing the companionship of men since that nerve-racking incident two years back. Pauli’s mind was plagued with confusion. Did he crave only for a physical relationship or did he truly love her? Would he still have the same feelings for her if she told him about how she had been molested?

The next few days were extremely hectic for Pauli. She noticed that Krish continued to be kind to her but never talked about his feelings for her again.

As each day passed, her restlessness increased as she pondered about this relationship. The fact that they would be together in Chennai for only a few days more and she would have to return to Kolkata after this period made life unbearable for her. She prayed to God for answers. On the fifteenth day, she could not take it anymore. They were together for dinner at a restaurant. Pauli’s eyes welled up with tears as she proceeded to tell Krish about how she had been abused.  

Pauli found Krish looked questioningly at her and saying, “So you thought me to be another lecher?” Wiping her tears with a tissue, he continued, “I already knew your story when I proposed to you. Remember, you had given me Srirupa’s number. I sensed something weird in the way you behaved with me whenever we were together. So I called her and spoke to her about my feelings for you.”