“Chinnu don’t go there, Gumma will catch you”

If you are thinking who the hell this Gumma (Devil) is, then let me tell you, it’s none other than me. Yes, the soul living on the top of the building, who doesn’t come out of his room until something inevitable pops up, who doesn’t even speak with the tenants, who doesn’t bother them even if they fight with each other for sundry matters like water, power, parking and mischief of their children, who keeps to himself and goes on with his life, Gumma. The sole reason for my being christened as Gumma is that I am a bachelor. I don’t blame them, I am not angry with them for thrusting that pseudo name on me. I know it’s not their fault; it’s a natural tendency of a mother to protect her child from a world where men impose themselves upon everything, especially on the opposite gender. With news of rapes, extortions, harassment, molestation and pedophiles becoming daily events, it’s unbecoming of me to think that the mothers of my building would let their children near me, especially if the child is girl. But some questions haunt me time and again, would they have let their children near me if I had married? Does marriage change a man’s attitude towards women or girl child? Does marriage wash all the promiscuous and lecherous behavior of a man? Do only bachelors tend to become pedophiles? Most of us know that for a person to turn from a man to monster it takes moments and thought process, certainly not marriage. But for all the illicit behavior of men around the world, married or unmarried, bachelors find the fingers brazenly pointed towards them.

 My thoughts were interrupted when Chinnu- a year old girl child– peaked through my room door and threw a smile. Sitting in front of my laptop, I blinked my eyes and squeezed my face, which the child found funny and started to chuckle. Her mother, who had come to terrace to feed her child, came in a flash and dragged her away. All the way she didn’t forget to caution her child from going near Gumma. An involuntary smile came on my face but I couldn’t decide whether that smile was for the momentary fun that I had with the child or cause I felt saddened being portrayed as a devil to the child.

 With the clock inching towards 12 in the noon, I was drowsy and it sure was time for an afternoon nap. All I could dream of in my short nap time was images of me flying like a betal in a graveyard.

I was awakened by clinging sound of my window and looked towards the window wondering where the sound came from. I saw few children were trying to steal pens kept in a half cut mineral water bottle that had been tied to the window railing. Seeing me awake, a scuffle erupted between them to lay their hands on the best pen. I stood up and went near the window as all of them fled the terrace, leaving one of their peers behind. She didn’t flinch, she didn’t cower neither did she appear to be frightened by my presence; she went on with her routine, employing a conscientious approach in selecting a pen. I stood near the window and looked at her as she smiled, showing her toothless front gum.

“Why are you stealing my pen?” I asked her.

“I am not stealing; look I am selecting a pen right in front of you”

“Why do you need my pen?”

“What sort of question is that, don’t you write?”

“I write in laptop”

“You mean you don’t need a pen, in that case I will take all of them”

            She took all the pens that were left in that half cut bottle and walked away. I came out of my room and stopped her.

“I never saw you here; do you live in this building?”

“We came here few days back, my father, mother, little brother and me”

“What is your name?”

“Baby and yours?”

            I opened my mouth to spell my name but stopped abruptly. A sudden thought of not telling her my real name came to my mind. Within seconds I conjured up a name.

“Bachelor” I said.

            She looked at me for while, as if I was an alien with that kind of a name. She walked away repeating my new found name with some difficulty. I felt relieved since Bachelor sounded way better than Gumma.

**********

“Bachelor what are you doing?”

I turned to see Baby standing at the door of my tiny kitchen. I was cutting onions for my morning breakfast.

“Don’t you see I am preparing breakfast?” I said wiping my watery eyes.

“Why are you cooking? Don’t you have a girl in your room like my mother?”

“No, girls don’t like me”

“Why?”

“Let me see, I don’t have enough money, maybe I am very old for them, may be because my hair are turning grey, I am going bald etc. etc”

“But I like you”

Those words, coming from Baby, made my day. I don’t know what part of me made her to say that she likes me. But I was sure those words came from her heart as I could see her smiling face radiating unadulterated innocence. I smiled back and asked her to wait till I prepared Poha. She stood beside me and observed my cooking as she had never seen a man indulging in such kind of culinary activity. She tasted my dish and compared it with her mother’s dishes which were obviously better than mine. We chatted, laughed and teased each other over that breakfast. She didn’t remain silent even for a second, asking question after questions on my writing job, laptop, movies and much more.

 After that breezy breakfast, our meetings became daily affair. Baby would come to my room and sit for a while unloading her questions about the world and surrounding, expecting me to douse or fan her burning curiosities. She seldom came in the evening as she said her father wouldn’t let her wander around in the building. She would run out of my room as soon she would hear her mother’s call. Sometimes she would come with her little brother who would always look for eatables in my room. After series of meetings, we had become best buddies who wouldn’t spend a single day without seeing each other.

Though I knew I am doing nothing wrong by building a friendship with an adolescent girl child but somehow my conscience pricked me cautioning that I am going against the rules set by mothers of my building. Sometimes I tried to avoid her because of such recurring thoughts but those thoughts would render redundant before her smile, talk and intoxicating innocence.

 I feigned ignorance to all my sundry thoughts just because I also felt the need of her company. I decided to go with the flow, not expecting any storm to obstruct our friend-ship.

**********************                      

“Why do we need blood?”

“Because blood supplies oxygen and nutrients to cells”

“What happens if we lose all blood?”

“We die”

            Baby looked at my finger rolled with a band aid that had turned red. My finger had been sliced by knife while cutting some vegetables. She inspected it thoroughly and let out a sigh.

“How would you make up for the lost blood?”

“I will eat a lot of vegetables” I said.

“You cut your finger because of those vegetables and you still want to eat them”

“I have to; otherwise I won’t get blood in my body”

“I have better idea”

“What is that?”

“I will cut my finger and place it on yours”

How on earth her tiny brain could come up with such an idea? Why would she think of giving me blood? Is it just the innocence or the camaraderie we have been sharing from few weeks? I was speechless. I couldn’t come up with answers to questions that were popping up in my mind. My eyes were just glued to her, tracking her facial contours that changed from being inquisitive to gasping as she fidgeted with my fingers.  

“Bachelor when is your birthday?” asked Baby still examining my injured finger.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because next Sunday is my birthday and if your birthday comes before that I want to give you a gift so that you could present me a gift bigger than mine”

I laughed at her innocent wish and told her that my birthday is still far away. I promised her that I will present her a big gift. Her eyes widened as she smiled projecting her toothless gum. She ran out of my room as her mother called for her loudly.

After a while, I could hear Baby’s mother reprimanding her for being out for long.

*******************************

Next day evening, I was returning from some errand. I saw Baby along with her little brother sitting on the front step of her home, doing her home work. I offered her a pack of cream biscuit. She looked at her brother who was eager to have the cream out of the biscuit. She came forward to take the biscuit pack. But before I could handover the pack, her father appeared at the door and restricted her from taking the biscuit pack. She cowered back to her place and sat staring at the notebook with glum face. Her father looked at me with glowering face, suggesting me to stay away from her daughter. Feeling embarrassed, I hastily walked away from the place.

Back in the room, sitting in front of the laptop, my mind pondered over the incident. What I had been thinking? Why did I offer her biscuit pack? Didn’t I know that such behavior is not acceptable in the society? Shouldn’t I remain to myself? I couldn’t comprehend the disturbance that was brewing inside me because of that incident. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the bed.

 I opened my eyes to the creaking sound of my room door. When the door was completely ajar, I saw Baby standing outside. She bore the same arresting toothless smile on her face. I sat up on the bed showing my fully grown gum to her.

“Bachelor, give me the biscuit pack” she said.

“Why, wouldn’t your father get angry at you?”

“You don’t worry about that, it’s not for me, I want it for my brother”

I gave her the biscuit pack and watched her walk away merrily. I was relieved to see Baby unaffected by the incident. But before I could revel anymore, I heard loud angry voice of Baby’s father. He was reprimanding her for getting back the biscuit pack from me. In the melee of rage and fury, I heard a sound of slap. My hand involuntarily went to my cheek as Baby’s wail filled the building. Her cry turned into sob, I felt the agony rising inside me as the beating and cursing went on.

Unable to bear it anymore, I sat before laptop, put on the headphone and let the guilt and remorse fill me up in the form of music.

***********************************

Baby didn’t come to my room for two days after the slapping incident. I didn’t see her outside her home either. I was missing my daily dose of chit-chat as I didn’t have any friends in the building. I was unable to write anything for two days since Baby’s thoughts filled my mind. The recurring thoughts of Baby getting punished by her father for no fault of her haunted me, I held myself responsible for her plight. My guilt conscious mind pricked me unabatedly with images of Baby smiling, guffawing, questioning and crying. After long spell of guilt and remorse, I decided to abandon my room for couple of days. I packed up and left for my friend’s place.

 I returned after two days. When I walked past Baby’s house, my eyes turned to peek through the door which was half opened. I didn’t find any trace of Baby in the hall. Disappointed, I started to negotiate the steps to my room with half hearted approach. Before I could step on the terrace, Baby who was hiding behind the parapet wall came out suddenly and tried to scare me. When I saw her, more than getting frightened I felt relieved and a sense of liberation began to replace my guilt. I felt like I was meeting a long lost friend after several years. I kept looking at her to make up for the four days loss. After few seconds she opened her mouth to say something but retracted as she heard her mother’s call.

“I will come in the evening”

 She ran hastily towards the steps even before she could complete the sentence. I smiled and walked towards my room. I was about to unlock the door, I heard a loud thud from the ground floor. My eyes involuntarily turned towards staircase and walked towards it as my mind let out some ominous thoughts. When I was about take the first step, I heard a screeching scream that let out Baby’s name. I ran myself towards the ground floor. When I reached there I saw Baby lying on the ground with her head bleeding profusely. Her mother was wailing loudly as neighbors gathered around her. I immediately assessed the situation and without wasting any time I lifted baby and put her on my shoulder. I pressed my one hand on Baby’s head where it was bleeding and ran out.

I didn’t stop till I reached the nearest hospital.

*******************************

            The dark red blood flowed in the pipe and filled a plastic pouch that was kept on an oscillating machine. I observed the pouch as it filled with my blood. Baby had lost lot of blood before I could reach the hospital and the doctor after initial examination had suggested blood transfusion. I don’t know whether it was a coincidence or some prophecy, my blood group matched with Baby’s and without much hesitation I agreed to give the blood. Lying on the hospital bed beside Baby, I just prayed to God that she recovers soon.

God didn’t disappoint me. Baby gained consciousness within hours of the blood transfusion. Her father didn’t tire from thanking me as I politely refused his gratitude. I left the hospital in the night after being assured that she was alright.

 After three days of Baby’s hospitalization, her father told me that she is recovering very fast and asking for me. I told him I will visit her next day.

When I entered the Baby’s ward next day evening in the hospital, I found all the hospital staff gathered around Baby. I suddenly remembered that it was Sunday and Baby’s birthday. A birthday cake was kept on the bed with five candles dazzling on it. I joined the staff and her parents to celebrate her birthday.

After the celebration I sat beside Baby and we silently exchanged some smiles.

“Bachelor, what are you thinking?” she asked.

“I forgot your birthday and didn’t bring the big gift that I had promised”

“What gift, you already gave me the biggest gift.”

“Really and what is that?”

“Your blood”

I was left spellbound by her reply. She kept on smiling and teased me saying nobody could get hold, grab or steal the gift presented by me. She said it will remain with her for life, in her body, reminding her about me. I couldn’t say anything to her innocent chatter as I felt too small before her. I just looked at her as she chatted away showing her toothless gum.

 I left the hospital late in the night as Baby forced me to stay with her. As I walked on the silent road her chatter filled my mind. It trickled down from mind and began to spread across my body. A shudder passed through my body as if to control the unrelenting emotion. But it all went in vain as I couldn’t suppress the feeling rising inside me. It kept on pushing itself till it appeared as a lump in my throat. That lump trickled out my left eye in the form of a tear.

And I cried…