"You are still on bed! Oh Gosh! No time sense. Don't you want to go with me? Why have you come then? To sleep? " shouted Bharati.

I tossed a little. Her ramblings came as a lullaby, the notes of it so sweet and soothing to my tired ears that didn't allow me to open my eyes. Yet, a part of my brain kept smarting.

Yes. I haven't come here, to Mumbai, to sleep. I have to get moving, attend Seema's marriage.

Bharati shouted again, "See, if you are not getting ready in another five minutes, I will leave you here to rot in my aunt's house. Is this clear to you?" Saying this she poured a glass of water on my face.

I sprang up. Eyes and mouth wide open, heart beat fast. I took almost ten full minutes to come back to my senses.

"Bloody! What the hell! Go if you want to. Why did you pour water on my face? You wanna kill me?"

Bharati was always like this. Even during our college days. She gave a big smile and hugged me.

"Now... make it fast. We don't have time. Do you want to show your face for dinner. Chal...jaldi ready hoke aana", she said.

Somehow I got up and took my time and got ready.

Bharati, my college mate, a spinster, lost her parents and her only brother in a road accident in 1994. Since then, she stayed with her widowed aunt in Mumbai. Her aunt, Usha Devi, a retired school teacher, lost her husband recently and had not been keeping well since. She always seemed lost in her thoughts and depressed.

We assured Usha Aunty that we would return the same night. Bharati took her car keys and rushed down the stairs to the basement instructing me to take the elevator. By the time I reached down, she was ready honking.

We started off for the marriage hall. I still remember how Seema Mahajan used to blush at the mention of her marriage. Today, at 44, she is marrying for the second time. Her first marriage was a failure. He was a sadist. Always suspected her being social with her colleagues. One chilly December night…I remember how she called to tell me that he kicked her out of the house.

"I don't know how you people adjust with a stranger for a lifetime. I am happy I have not done the mistake of marrying ", said Bharati.

I looked at Bharati, her expression, her mocking words. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts about Seema.

"I am very eager to see her face now. Does that Advocate know to blush or has she forgotten?"

We reached the Hall. Her juniors and students were at the entrance welcoming all..sprinkling rose water and handing a flower to the ladies. A few of them guided us to Seema's personal room.

As soon as she saw us, she screamed like hell. She was angry that we were late. Her cousins were helping her with the make-up and jewellery. I hugged her tight. I was happy for her. We were all in tears. Her voice choked. She wanted to tell everything but the pundit sent someone to fetch her. 

"Didi...They are calling you", announced the little girl who came running.

We escorted her to the mandap where the groom was already waiting for her. I wanted to see his face. I had this urge to lift the flowery veil off his face and see him. How does he look like? Will they look like "made for each other" or not? All these and many other questions ran in my mind.

Everything went accordingly. We had lot of fun. We teased her and also passed few jokes on him and laughed loud. Just then...yes...then...I felt I was observed. Someone from very close quarters. A feeling to turn back and see. I turned casually and caught the eye. For a second, I missed a pulse beat.

Why is he here? Why did he smile at me? And why did I reciprocate? Why do I still remember him? No! Get him out of my brain...oh someone...please. All of a sudden, I felt my face turn red. Bharati observed the change in me. "What happened? " she asked.

I needed some privacy for myself. For what, I didn't know. But I wanted to escape that scene.

The whole atmosphere within me changed. I got up. Bharati tried stopping me. But I gave her some excuse and went to washroom, the only place on Earth where one can find a little peace of mind.

Everything passed before my eyes. I could clearly read all expressions on the faces as they flashed.

----------------------

August, 1989....

I wanted to join a medical college in Madras, but couldn't afford the high fees. My father's recent demise had left my mother in a shattered condition. I didn't want to trouble her more. I couldn't continue to stay in Madras as I felt guilty. I felt that my friends would laugh at me for not reaching for my life dream. I left for Nagpur where I thought of studying law.

Bharati, Seema and I were friends since the first day as we shared the bench. We felt at home in each others’ company. We maintained a low profile though. It was Bharati who suggested that we should take up a part-time job in Nagpur Times to meet to our expenses.

Nagpur Times, a daily newspaper in Marathi and English, paid us Rs. 750 those days. We were happy with what little we had. Life was really full of fun and joy. Bharati joined as a Telephone Operator while Seema edited the Marathi news and I the English.

Seema was always active and jovial with her Marathi co-editors whereas I was serious with my colleagues. It was because they were all far older than me and they discouraged silly talk. I used to often go to Seema to rejuvenate myself. All those working in that section were youngsters like us. One of them was this Bhaskar Londhe. He was dashing, jovial and attracted many with his talk.

Whenever I went to see Seema, I used to feel jealous of their friendship. Somehow, I felt, he should be friendly with me also. I joined them during lunch. And also in the evenings, we (Seema, Bharati, Bhaskar and I) started going to Temptations , a South Indian fast food centre near Yughdharm Complex in Ramdaspeth.

This became a habit. We used to take turns in giving a treat, sometimes for no cause, sometimes for silly reasons like I was wearing a new dress that day.

Soon, I got a better opportunity at M/s. Ortho Chemicals. They supplied chemicals to Ordinance factories. I was the Office Manager there. It is definitely the salary that attracted me otherwise I would not have felt like going away from Bhaskar.

I used to make calls initially. All the calls went through Bharati. Whenever I called her, I used to ask about this fellow. She understood that I was obsessed with him.

It all happened on one fateful day.

Everything was fine until then. We were in our final year. Seema went to Khaamgaon to attend her brother's marriage and Bharati was on leave. She didn't come to college also. After reaching office, I called Nagpur Times and asked for Bhaskar. He said he wanted to talk to me and asked me to come to his house the next day.

I didn't know anything about Bhaskar’s family and background. I didn’t know if I featured anywhere in his future plans.

Anyway, the next day I wore my best outfit, a baby-pink sari, which many said made me look graceful. I calculated that his parents would love me as I looked the best. The funny thing is that we had never expressed our love in words until then. That was the first time we were going to speak our hearts.

I was waiting at Lokmat Chowk. He came exactly fifteen minutes after the mentioned time on his two-wheeler. I felt thrilled to sit behind him and wrap my arm round him.

We just crossed the Chowk and went into the lanes. He stopped his vehicle in front of a very big and dilapidated building which looked almost haunted. As we climbed the stairs, I had an eerie feeling. I caught his sleeves and stopped him. But he assured me of safety.

We walked along the long corridor on the first floor. I couldn't guess what place it was. But it definitely was not meant for families. Individual rooms all locked. At the far end was the washroom. He stopped mid way in front of a door. He unlocked it. I was looking around afraid of the new surroundings.

There was only one cot in the room and on the wall I saw two pictures, one was of Sai Baba and the other one was of Lord Ganesha. I felt a little happy.

"Whose room is this Bhaskar? "

He didn't say anything. He just pulled me closer and kissed me on my cheek. I blushed.

That was the only gesture I knew to express love until then. I wanted him to say "I love you ". He took my hand and made me sit.

"Now tell me those golden words", I said

"I will not say. I will show you", he said

__________________________________

My phone rang. I looked straight into my eyes in the washroom mirror. Wiped my tears and splashed water on my face. My phone was still ringing. I opened my bag and took out the phone.

"Hello."

"Mamma, when are you coming to see me?"

"Akshara! Very soon beta. Mamma is in Mumbai. I have come to Seema Aunty's marriage. How are you studying? How are your friends in the hostel? Take care beta! " I disconnected the call.

Akshara, my only daughter. I have put her in Ooty Convent far from the shadows of my past.

"Hello Ahalya! How are you? After a very long time. Haven't changed a bit except that you look more sexy than before. Haven't married I heard. I can still love you the way I did before."

I recognised the voice. I turned to face the reality.

"How are you Bhaskar? Haven't changed a bit. As cruel as before". I slapped him and holding my head high, walked past his wife who was observing us.