7

07-12-04
‘What the hell is going on between my husband and that whore?' Kareena's patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.
Saif Ali knew that she was serious. 'Look, Kareena. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I'd say.'
'Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Saif . . .' she rolled her eyes in disgust. 'That's what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Saif, not for a married man.
Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.' She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Saif and asked, 'Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend, did he ever tell you anything about it?’
Venus smirked, while she bit into her chocolate bar, which was as layered as the events unfolding on the screen.
“Nice to see the Indian soaps coming of age. They should have had projected this reality long back, than the tearjerkers. High time the Indian TV viewers are driven home the fact that every family is dysfunctional, in some way or the other — let the Rajshris take care of the dream families.” She thought to herself, eyes fixed on the screen, as she took another bite.
 

*****

One of the youngest public prosecutors of her times, this 37-year-old was a social butterfly, unlike her husband, Evagrius Pinto (EP). But, there was nothing more to her weekend evening, today, than to either soak herself in the TV or in the cool breeze that engulfed the Government quarters at Haji Ali. She had skipped her club night today, again, not keeping well, off & on, for quite some time, now.

Venus and EP were a well-to-do couple, successful in their respective professions and very much into each other. Childlessness was probably the only flaw in their almost perfect life but they had taken it in their stride. A busy man is a happy man and so were they.

*****

‘Time for your medicines, dear.’ EP walked into the living room, with a copy of Ravi Subramanian’s latest thriller The Bestseller She Wrote.

‘Ugh! Let this serial get over.’ Venus brushed aside the caring husband, in EP, not wishing her chain of thoughts to be interrupted.

‘Ah! I see. It must be some show, which drew my dear wife to TV. Hope it keeps you glued enough to spend every weekend at home than club.’ He smiled at her, lovingly.

‘Oh! Come on! You recluse…’ She shooed him.

‘All right ! All right! You carry on. Am in the study. Let me know, once you are done’ EP chortled and walked away.

Venus was too engrossed into the soap, to have heard him. The box was throwing up out of the box ideas.

07-01-05

‘You bloody dog! I gave you everything you wanted and needed and this is what you do to me!’ Eila flung the envelope on Sumer.

The envelope scared the living daylights out of Sumer. It contained seven photos and a typed letter.

‘Er…this is a conspiracy, darling. Hmmm...This is photoshopped. Mmm…she is…she is ju….just a social acquaintance, you..hmmm…see…you see.’ Sumer fumbled for words.

‘Yeah! I can see.’ Eila looked into his eyes.

‘Uh! Please…please do not jump to conclusions, darling. You know well that…er…that everyone envies our pair and riches. Give me some time. I will…I will find out the bastard who did this.’ Sumer was visibly shaken.

‘You worthless scoundrel! You think, I do not know of your womanising ways, in all these seven years, we have been married? It was just because of my social status and my small children, that I kept quiet, all this while. Enough now!’ Eila was livid.

*****

It was called the marriage of convenience — Eila, the heiress of the industrial empire of her father, Narpat Singh and Sumer, a struggling writer. She was living a nightmare when he walked into her life, seven years back. She was 40 then, with two small kids, when her husband passed away, in an accident. Where she was struggling with her acute obesity amidst a mid-life crisis with two growing up children, the loss of her primary support came as a huge setback. It was Sumer, then, who came into her life, like a whiff of fresh air. Though younger to her, by four years, their bond grew as thick as thieves and it was just a matter of time, when it culminated in marriage.

Despite being an out-of-work writer, Sumer was a charmer, all the way. A quintessential Mills and Boon man, with the body and baritone, to die for. He had an impeccable knack of being at the right place, at the right time; be it clubs, circles or casinos. Couple of literature festivals and they grew close. Though he never wished to be knotted down with a woman, for life, he knew well that at 36 then, he needed to settle down. Irrespective of his persona, his career was going nowhere and he needed a regular source of income, to lead his life, the way he wished to. In Eila, he found his Laxmi.

*****

‘Seven years back, I knew that we are not compatible, as a man and woman but as a husband and a wife, I believed we could make a good couple. I was looking for an anchor, a moral support and you were looking for a ship, to sail through your penniless life but probably it has reached its shelf life.’ Eila continued.

‘Oh! No! Please darling..pl…please listen to me. I..uh…I know I have wronged you, as a husband but please …er…you know, I have always cared for the kids, despite being their step—father.’ Sumer fumbled for words.

‘That’s my worst fear. I know, they are fond of you and could have learned lots from you. I have been forgiving you, as a wife but I cannot forgive you as a mother and a woman. These pictures, of you and your bitch, were taken inside my house and that is unacceptable. I do not want my kids to know that their father is screwing around with a woman, other than their mother, in their parent`s bedroom. I do not want them to learn from this. I do not want to be socially humiliated, with the status our family commands. I do not want my father, to die a heartbroken man. And I do not want to know who was this whore, as she may be one of many’ The hurt rolled down, as tears, from her eyes but she was the alpha, today.

‘Now, listen to me carefully. I do not want to discuss the bone of contention. We will maintain status quo till my kids leave for the boarding school next month. We would jointly file for divorce, immediately thereafter, on grounds of irreconcilable differences. It will come through in around seven months and you would be a free bird. — do what you wish. I am willing to pay you 5 million to help you sustain yourself for a year and to help myself get rid of you. Period.’ She finished.

‘What! No! Darling, please do not do this to me. I may have been a wayward man but I always cared for you. How could have we stayed together for seven years, if I was indifferent to you? You have given me so many chances and support to correct myself but I could not mend my ways but I promise you that it will never happen again. Please…please.’ He pleaded like a convict.

‘Do not bullshit me, Sumer. A leopard cannot change his spots. You can sleep over my offer and come back tomorrow.’ She left the room.

*****

‘I am so happy, today, sweetheart.’ Venus almost ran into Sumer and smooched him.

‘Shut up! Bloody whore! How did our pictures reach Eila?’ Sumer pushed her aside, as he gulped down the remains of his rum.

Venus was one of the many one-night stands Sumer had had during his marriage. This one, however, turned into an affair. She could resist anything but him and she was the best he had ever had; in terms of usefulness, too. She had always been there, whenever he had a brush with the law or the lawless. Though his wife’s family yielded far more powers, in the echelons of society, he knew that seeking their help would open a Pandora’s Box. They would have never subscribed to his passion for gambling and drugs and here was a woman, who despite knowing everything, loved him enough to support him, unconditionally.

‘Call me anything, sweetie. You are all mine, now.’ She was ecstatic.

‘I asked you how did the photos taken by you on your cell, reach her?’ She had not seen him this angry, before.

‘How do I know, honey? My cell is still with me and no one dares touch it. By the way, if you remember, I had shared all of those with you on Whatsapp. May be, it leaked from there. You have a habit of misplacing your phone, every time you are drunk. Moreover, it was your place. You tell me.’ She said calmly.

‘How nice! My whole life is about to be screwed and you are behaving as calm as a monk.’ He could not even blame her.

‘Why remorse over the damage — it has been done. Why should a 43-year-old happening man like you care for a 47-year-old fatso? You have me, for life.’ She embraced him and let her tongue caress his ear lobe.

’Are you nuts? My entire plan — my entire life will go down the drain, if I get divorced from her. What do you think — why did I marry her?’ He poured a double.

‘Of course, for her money. You enjoyed the last seven years on her monies and are getting 5 million now. What else do you want, sweetie?’ She wore a wicked smile.

‘Moron! Her husband would inherit her father’s Juhu beach bungalow, in case of his death.’ He took a swig and collapsed on the sofa.

‘Whew! That, sure, is troubling. Even a small bungalow on the beach would cost a 100 million.’ Her expression changed, as she let him loose.

‘Bingo! That`s what worries me — not the divorce. Why should I settle for 5 million, when my 87-year-old father-in-law has been keeping unwell since the last two months?’ He exclaimed.

‘You should have told me that, earlier.’ She seemed upset.

‘You expect me to tell you everything, when I do not share everything with even my wife? Do not forget that we are friends with benefits. You would never compromise on your marital status, because of me nor would I. We are partners in bed — not life. So, do not play my wife’ He has never been this curt to her, ever.

‘Not bad! Not bad at all!!’ She gazed into the ceiling, deep in thought.

‘What? Which part?’ He wondered.

‘Playing your wife.’ She turned towards him.

‘What? You have gone bananas!! Take mine, bitch’ He rose to help himself with another drink.

‘Am serious. Had I been happy in this marriage, why would have we been together? EP would think a hundred times, before allowing his name to be dragged in the court on a divorce case, which would take his impotency, as the basis. Therefore, he would agree to a mutual divorce. That would clear the way for our marriage.’ She smiled.

‘You are a better writer than me, I suppose. Take a drink and give me a break!’ He brushed her aside.

‘Anyway, meanwhile, I would suggest you to negotiate with her for at least 50 million, as an alimony and get out of this relationship.’ She ignored his comments.

‘What if she does not agree?’ He asked.

‘I have hundreds of ideas and a battery of lawyers, to pull you through this, if the worst comes to the worst. Chill! Baby.’ She thrust him to bed, while she slipped her strap down.

*****

’50 million? Did I hear this right?’ Eila looked at him, coldly.

‘That’s right.’ Sumer lit a cigarette.

‘Okay. Let`s drop the deal.’ She got up from the round table.

‘I don`t require your consent. I will not only file a divorce case against you but precede it with a 498 A, on the basis of that envelope. Witness your and your whore’s life torn apart, bit by bit; first in court, then socially. Now, get lost.’

Sumer gaped at her, absent-mindedly, as she turned around to leave.

‘No. Please. Wait. I agree.’

07-03-05

‘Please note your case no. It’s 2005777; final date of hearing is October 7th, 2005.’ The lawyer said loudly as Eila and Sumer stood silently.

07-10-05

‘In my opinion, you should reconsider your decision, in the interest of your extended and immediate families, societal overview and of course, for the seven years you have shared with each other.’ The judge said politely.

‘My Lord, our clients have passed that stage and it is a well-thought over decision. May we request your kind approval please?’ Eila and Sumer’s lawyers almost echoed.

‘Sad.’ The judge shrugged his shoulders and went on to endorse the divorce.

07-12-05

‘But why? Why Venus? Have I not been a good husband? Have I not taken care of you, both personally and professionally? Had it not been for me, you would never have been approved as a public prosecutor.’ EP wailed.

‘EP, I care for you but I do not love you. Am sorry but you would have learned this sooner or later. I know without you, I would have been nowhere and I would always remain indebted for that, but I cannot lead this double life. I can neither live with the man, whom I do not love — who cannot father my child nor can I stay away from the man, whom I love and who is potent to give me a child. She wiped off the tears from her cheeks, while avoiding looking at EP.

That was enough for EP.

There was another divorce filed in another court, precisely two months later. This one was between Venus and EP.

07-10-06

‘In my opinion, you should reconsider your decision, in the interest of your extended and immediate families, societal overview and of course, for the seven years, you have shared with each other.’ The judge said politely.

‘Ly lord, our clients have passed that stage and it is a well thought over decision. May we request your kind approval please?’ The lawyers of Venus and EP said.

‘Sad.’ The judge shrugged his shoulders and went on to endorse the divorce.

07-07-07

‘You have a heart to attend the wedding of your ex-wife!’ Judge Sam looked surprisingly at his fellow colleague and friend, EP.

All imminent judges and lawyers of Mumbai were invited to attend the wedding of Venus with Sumer.

‘You see, my friend, a great man once uttered — Revenge tastes best when it is served cold. Let me enjoy my hour of victory.’ Judge Evagrius Pinto lit a cigar.

‘Will you elucidate?’ Sam got curious.

‘Do you know how was I named Evagrius Pinto?’ EP blew a dense smoke.

‘Ah! Do not bore me, now. It’s one of the most difficult names I have ever come across; both in written and spoken English.’ Sam looked around for his scotch.

‘My parents believed in a philosophy and they believed in the man called Evagrius Ponticus. You know my hatred for the seven deadly sins, right? EP was the originator of this philosophy and I was named after him.’ EP puffed.

‘Yeah, but what has our childhood teachings got to do with this wedding, EP?’ Sam seemed baffled.

‘Okay. How about this?’ EP continued. ‘There were seven players in this story, since it started. Kareena-Saif Ali –Sumer-Eila-Venus-EP and Narpat, Eila’s father.’

‘Kareena and Saif Ali’s show ignited the idea in Venus that she could possess Sumer for life, only if he gets divorced from Eila. That was a result of two of her sins—Lust and Envy. Though, she had been a slut all her life, Sumer was someone whom she had truly fallen in love with apart from her lust for him. She was as envious as a cat towards Eila, as she could not bear the fact that he shared the majority of his life with Eila. Even Sumer did not know this but these sins made her plant her own pics, exposing their relationship to Eila, as she was sure that Eila had reached a nadir. Bang on! She got what she wanted. It was her game, all the way; at least that`s what she thought.’ He smirked.

‘Sumer was dominated by two of his sins—Greed and Pride. He was as vain as a peacock and as greedy as a wolf. This Lothario thought that no woman could resist his charms and Eila’s money would be his ticket to a life on bed of roses, on which he would lay any women, he wished to.’

‘Eila had fallen prey to two of her sins—Gluttony and Sloth. She was as lazy and fat as a pig, given Narpat’s huge empire. In her pre-40s life, her father and first husband took care of everything, while she enjoyed her life, partying and Sumer, managed after that. Sumer manipulated her, all their married life, by encouraging her to remain self-indulgent, siphoning off millions over those seven years.’ EP chewed on his cigar.

‘I know, all this perplexes you, Sam. Keep listening.’ He looked at his drink, blankly.

‘Being what I am, I have never pardoned anyone, in my entire career as a judge, who committed a crime, as a result of any of these sins.’ He had a stiff upper lip.

‘Aah! So, basically, you mean to say you have never condoned anybody?’ Sam sneered at him, as he picked up his soup.

‘Yes, that`s right. So, how could I have forgiven those, the sins of whom, screws my remaining life.’ EP rested his cigar on the ashtray to taste a drop of single malt.

‘I was well aware of my wife`s affair with Sumer but I allowed her to enjoy her life. What surprises me was that I did it only out of my love, for her—not because I was impotent or anything, but because her constant relapses were bothering me and I felt happy to see her happy. I am, otherwise, quite virile, man! Ha! Ha! Ha!’ He winked at Sam, while taking him by surprise on every disclosure.

‘I took it as a passing affair, till I came across the divorce petition of Eila & Sumer, in my court. That was a bolt from the blue. I had not seen this coming and I knew what may follow. I tried my best to dissuade them or even procrastinate, rather dismiss, their petition but to no avail. Somewhere, I had also understood the futility of fighting for love; you cannot force someone to love you. And you know well, what followed.’ He tasted his single malt.

‘But then, you have to pay for your sins, my friend. You see. Venus is HIV+ve. Her Lust dug her grave and her Envy was the reason.’ EP banged the glass down, almost breaking it.

‘Sumer would share her fate, tomorrow onwards due to his Pride, in charming any woman, apart from the fact that he lost his big ticket to riches, thus, burying his Greed for Eila’s wealth.’

‘Eila’s empire would collapse, soon, since she lost her father, Narpat, some time back. Where Gluttony helped Sumer handicap her, Sloth never allowed her to learn the ropes. Her sins did not even allow this poor woman to even mother her children, well.’ He got up to help himself with another drink.

‘What about the remaining guys? Sam had lost interest in his soup.

‘Kareena-Saif Ali and Narpat did not exhibit any sins, in this story, so their role ends, where it began.’ EP poured some more liquid into his glass, stirred it thoroughly and gulped it neat.

‘If you connect the dots, EP, I find a scary coincidence. The characters of this story have seven in common. Kareena and Saif Ali have seven characters in their name. The word seven connect the first characters of the names of Sumer-Eila-Venus-Narpat and you, EP.’ Sam seemed lost.

‘Come to think of it, there is more. Isn`t it strange and ironic, brother Sam, that the dates and ages of all of us and the events that unfolded in our lives, were some way or the other, connected to seven?’ EP drew his mobile out.

‘Yeah! Yeah! But, how about the last sin, EP?’

‘Oh! Yes! I forgot.’ EP fiddled with his mobile.

‘I was Wrath, my dear—very angry on these people. Very!! And I just screwed them all.’

‘I never told Venus that she was dying of AIDS. The medicines, I fed her with, were fake. I never told Venus that this was the reason, why I did not sleep with her or why were we childless. That whore thought I was impotent and Sumer could satisfy her for life and gift her a child, too!’

‘I could have called Sumer to share all of this but then, he would never have married her and would have survived HIV.’

‘I could have intimated about all this to Eila, as we shared the same pain but that useless woman deserved to live in misery, all alone. Had she taken care of her surroundings, her husband would never had got into my wife!’

‘The first divorce was filed in my court—the second, mine. Had I not allowed two divorces, this marriage would not have happened and all of them may have escaped their punishment.’ EP unlocked his mobile.

‘So what about the punishment, for your sin, my dear judge—it was the last of the seven?’ Sam stared at him.

‘I am too self-respecting to bear the social stigma of an esteemed judge, like me, undergoing a divorce, at the age of 52! I have just consumed poison.’ EP collapsed, while he pressed the number to inform the cops—Speed dial No 7.