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I was drawn to many things that night, the stars looked different, and the alignment of everything that night seemed out of sync, why I am saying all this and what is the purpose: well it’s a pretty hectic day although it started well, I woke up did my yoga had breakfast and got ready to go to college, there was something about that day which was blue in the sense when you feel energy-wise different, its not an intellectual understanding.

I kept the tap open, and the water kept dripping until ma yelled from the kitchen to turn it off- I was in a haste her words lost her way. My mom makes an excellent breakfast for us, I don’t like waking her up early in the morning. 

But ma is very adamant of me having a good breakfast before I leave home.

My room looks like a refugee camp everything is kept haphazardly, including my books, earphones cards, and the hidden cigarettes buds.

Mom knows I smoke, and she has even warned me several times because if the father gets to know I probably have to sleep in the terrace with no blanket-I keep forgetting, and I remember when I get an unusual gaze from her. the house is so tidy except my room whatever I touch becomes a piece of garbage that’s not my word father says so,

sometimes I believe him.

I am a science student and have a fine taste of English literature, which I wanted to pursue but people discouraged me- I would say father did, I shouldn’t say that out loud.

I do reasonably okay in studies and lately, I am veered off to friends and outing because my life becomes a boring trip if you spend most of your teenage days in the laboratory I did not have any issues earlier but lately its become more of a chemical less of an experiment.

Perhaps I don’t know what I mean but it sucked, to remain there.

Few friends I hang out with mostly after college I go to a video game parlor and later we enjoy smoke and tea which is near to the college premises- practically we were just guys, no sign of girls anywhere in this huge cosmos.,

and I tell you with boys gang the discussion is more girls than of anything else.

so it starts with parts and sends with sex.

Most teenagers are horny, and some exceptions don’t verbally say it but they are thinking about it all the time, I am one of those but I just can't help it.

Life was okay, with the mixture of unhealthy friendship and toxic smoking habits but overall it was going good.

I sauntered in, and my friends sitting outside the classroom stating the professor is not in, so we got a few minutes more to venture in endless blabber.

I couldn’t stifle a laugh when one of my friends cracked a joke- my bag was on my lap and while my mouth was open I saw a girl wearing a black t-shirt and her hair was tied properly and carried a red color bag, my eyes glued to her for a while, and she smiled as she saw me.

We all halted, it was eerie of silence- she went inside and stood in front of the green board and kept her bag on the chair and folded her hands,

My name is ana Chatterjee I am your new chemistry prof.

That was the biggest day of our life, to have a female prof, its far better than to see bald professor coughing in the middle of the class, she looked young maybe she is young; her body was perfect like she is a diva from some college fest, and everything about her was a piece of art, she smelled like a future love and hair was a next big adventure, towards the end of the class I kept admiring her and she knew it- which encouraged me more.

The assignment was all done with complete precision and she patted my back whenever she saw my assignment, I reached a stage where I no longer want to wait more and I have to tell her how much I like her,

one day after the lecture everyone left the class and it was me completing my assignment, Miss Ann did not leave the class and she sat beside me , I can sense her closeness- her perfume was all over my body and her delicate hands touched my back,

I was turned on and shuddered what should I do now, I looked at her - with a smiling face she uttered you are a brilliant student. The reassuring look of her broke my heart because I thought she liked me too - but only to figure out as a good student, with a burst of anger I took my bag and ran outside the class, miss ann looked aghast and saw me running away.

 I did not speak to anyone that day, I was quite- very few could say I was sad hopeful kind of sad,

Upon reaching home, I didn’t feel like talking to anyone I directly hit the bed and dug myself on the pillow, but her thoughts just not ready to leave me.

I slept unaware as I woke up- it was 7 am, I immediately pack my bags hurried to reach college- I entered the class when the lecture commenced.

I saw her, wearing a blue saree and a light bindi two hair was swaying in air and her lips were moving in tandem, I forgot everything that happened yesterday and began all over again to love her, yes that’s right I realized I love her and this innate feeling of expressing this to her became more and more lucid.

I was inattentive and my eyes are all over her- I was ashamed and truly In love at the same time because I was not paying much attention what she was teaching her body was moving like a beautiful hand made plane.

I was staring at her and I was moving up - I felt everyone was looking at me at the same time.

my focus got disturbed and suddenly all the noise gushed in from nowhere - now when I looked at her she looked pissed and agitated.

I apologized and left the class.

After the class ended she called me in the staffroom where all the other professors gather and discuss their day, I tiptoed and asked for permission to enter the room, it was a luxuries room, all the furniture didn’t look old, and the curtains are neatly placed, one of the English professor reading a newspaper and at the same time gazing at me. I sat on a comfortable chair and beside the chair, I saw her bag lying there unattended.

Miss ann took a cup of tea and biscuits and offered me, but I denied although I wanted it, she took a sip and her smile was different like she is just a woman on the unknown street.

What do you keep dreaming? she asked primly

I suppose you were a good student before and at the beginning of my lectures now what went wrong rahul?

I was amazed she recollected my name,

with trepidation I mentioned- I am not feeling well so I was not paying attention.

 She gasped and said

If you don’t improve, I will have to speak to your parents, this was her last words

My mother would kill me, and my father would annoyed- that was my afterthought

I took a leave from college for two days and decided to be home and study in silence but mind kept foraging her face her body and I cant just for a moment sit quietly.

Mom saw my restlessness and asked me why do I look disoriented I shrugged her off saying please let me focus, after two days of absence, I entered the college and all my friends mocked me for being a girl,

I wonder why? I asked one of them, Miss ann informed everyone that I cried in the staff room- I just couldn’t hold myself and immediately went to speak to her, she was quietly sitting there, her hair was open and she wore a Kurti and a black leggings

I went directly to the point

why did you inform my friends I wept while speaking to you? she saw the rage in my eyes

but she broke out in a fragment of the smile and responded coolly.

No, I didn’t- and this time it was a more than a smile.

I was in love, and to the person with whom I can never summon the courage of expressing her. I will collapse but these intense emotion needs to go out,

I decided to tell my predilection to my friend sonu, he is kind and spoke of how he loved a girl during school.

He laughed at me first and later told me, it happens that’s what he only told me

"That happens"

We played a video game and forgot about that.

The next day, there was a different professor in the classroom, after enquiring we got know she was on probation and filling up for the actual one.

My heart skipped a bit and wanted to see her for the last time as she is going to a different city today.

I ran to the college gate to my surprise she was standing there looking curiously at the hand watch, I sauntered near and saw a tall guy with the beard stood in front of her and hugged her.

They went away in a bike.