• Published : 17 Dec, 2014
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Love Thy Neighbours... Really?

It was about a fortnight back, when I arrived at midnight at my friends place, after a gruesome twelve hours in the flight. As I reached her floor in the lift, I did not haul my stroller, least it would disturb the neighbours, I also did not ring the doorbell, least it would wake up her kid. I called her from my mobile phone, which she attended to and eventually opened the door. We met at the main door of her flat and then quickly stepped in. I settled myself with a strongly brewed coffee and we kept talking till late in the night. 

While we were catching up, there was a ring at the door. Soon it turned out to be an uninterrupted calling on the doorbell. We were startled and looked at each other in utter shock; it was 1:45 am. It was a dark winter night and the sky was starless. The call on the door was like million icicles poking into my skin. My friends face had turned pale, as she knew what was coming. She gathered her strength, checked from the door-eye and saw her neighbour, who lives in the flat just below hers.  And as my friend opened the door, the neighbour shouted at her, complaining of sounds and lights from our flat disturbing her. She even hurled abuses at my friend and accused her of being uncivilised. Upon asking, the neighbour grudged against the sounds of the hauling of my stroller! And she thought that this was a reason good enough for her to walk up to my friend’s flat in the middle of the night.  We were too scared and stood cold like a stone. The women was at the top of her pitch and was uncontrolled. In the silence of the night, the loud pitched voice could break through the thickest wall and hardest door. I heard the door of other flats opening up and could see heads popping out against the dark sky, looking for the cause of the noise.
I guess the neighbour’s threshold for outside sounds was very low. I understood this even further, when my friend narrated an episode, which spoke loud about their condo etiquettes. Some time back, my friend’s maid’s saree had been mercilessly cut at several places. It had not been ripped by a random nail, but it clearly showed that someone had used a scissor to cut it into pieces. Curiosity took my friend to her brazen neighbours, and the occupant unintentionally admitted to the brash act.
This is not all, her neighbour had once used offensive language, from her balcony, accusing my friend of disturbing her in the middle of the day. My friend had called a play date for her five year old son. There were a couple of kids at her flat and their chirping and playing was disturbing the lady below.
OMG!
They get disturbed at the slightest sounds of human existence. Walking steps disturb them, running the bathroom flush disturbs them, sounds and cacophony of the children disturb them, and opening and shutting of doors disturb them. This has given my friend's family a nightmare, especially the kid, since out of fear the poor kid doesn’t  talk, he whispers, he doesn’t walk but tip-toes…looking likes prisoners in their own house.
Urban landscapes are growing by every brick and mortar. International builders and designers have swarmed, unexplored lands and converted them into flourishing townships.
World class facilities and security systems have attracted everyone, to name a few temptations - centralised air conditioners, walk-in lift and biometric entry to the condominium, heated and covered swimming pools. Everyone right from the government pensioners to the ‘Hashtag Selfie’ brigade are flocking towards these concrete nests. But my concerns are different, to put my state lyrically in the words of Shania Twain ‘That don’t impress me…’ This is passe’…now can we have sound proof flats too!
Knock Knock? Is any builder listening?
How about having condominiums, which beyond the obvious can offer its residents sound proof flats – the sounds and noise from one flat do not reach to the neighbours and vice-versa. Peaceful co-existence. Foundation for utopian state.
I have been forced to do research on such designed societies, courtesy my mid-night arrival at my friends place.
My friend is too scared and stays alone with her son. She avoids hosting any play-dates, parties, or anything of that sort. Her son is so well trained to not create any sounds, even when he is playing. He thinks that if he makes any sounds, the neighbour aunty would rebuff him. Not a recommended warning for a five year old. My friend fears that the neighbour lady should not harm her son in the park or otherwise.
Now what would you call this? A case of lost patience? Or is it a case of my friend trespassing condominium norms?
I was baffled and disturbed at the occurrence of such an event, especially at times, when our relatives are far and our neighbours are near. This had come as a blow. I guess we need to accept that we are sharing some of our space with our neighbours too. We share a common wall, lift, lobby, floor with our neighbours. We don’t live in sprawling bungalows, which is in the heart of green garden and the infrastructure is not shared with any neighbour. Whereas a condominium thrives on common structures. Parents prefer condominiums, for the simple case of common playing areas, safe compounds and lobbies for their kids to play. 
I am not against urbanisation and development, but it needs to be complimented with better societal sense. In case it is a common building, how is my friend expected to control the sound of the water gurgling in the washroom cistern? How is she expected to stop the teeny-meeny wheel of the stroller from moving on the floor? Does anyone give the neighbour the right to stop kids from playing in their own home? Do the kids have to walk bare feet, else the neighbour might not like it.
For me, it is a feeling of being caged in my own house.

About the Author

Avanti

Joined: 04 May, 2014 | Location: Gurgaon, India

Avanti holds a post graduate degree in management. She started her professional career with CitiFinancial and then moved to teaching management students at Rai Foundation. A mother to two wonderful children, she steals whatever little time she can fr...

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