HEAT OF THE KNIFE

by Anirban Nanda

It was a Sunday evening like any other summer evening – dark, humid and sullen. She was sitting beside the railing-less wooden window. The kerosene lamp was not lit yet and mosquitoes gathered over her head emitting a continuous humming sound. There was always a stinking smell of urine and filth in the slum. But she was used to such odour as she was living there since her birth. She was waiting for that evening for a long time. She knew she had to get ready for the occasion. She was neither fair complexioned nor dark. Her face structure was quite accurate; like a betel leaf, like a colourless idol. Her black eyes were big and lips were slim and soft. And despite their poverty, she was surprisingly healthy. If she had lived in a rich house she would definitely have become the attraction of whole society.   

“Durga! What the hell are you doing there sitting and daydreaming? Come here. You need to get dressed.”

Parvati had returned after the day’s work. She had been living in that slum from the day Durga’s father Bhola married her. She neither liked the groom nor his place but her father thought it would be wise to marry off Parvati with a groom who demanded the least dowry. Parvati was like any other average looking, lower-middleclass housewife who liked to dream of a better life where her children would get education and she would get them three square meals. Unfortunately, life at the slum was hard and she had to work out ways to earn money to run the family. Parvati gave birth to two stillborn boys before Durga. Bhola was really pissed off and though the doctors advised him to wait for some time to try for another child, he got Parvati pregnant in the next year itself. This time a healthy female child saw the first ray of the operation theatre lamp. Durga was really lucky to live as her loving father wanted to kill her the moment he got the news. It was Parvati who saved her only child from him. The bad news of Durga’s birth came with a worse one. Due to complications in the placenta, Parvati would not be ever able to give birth to another child. From then, Durga was like sand-in-the-eye for Bhola.

“Ok. I’ll get ready soon.” Durga replied to her mother who had a sweating face full of irritation and exhaustion.

“Let’s eat something first. I'll cook you noodles. You have to look healthy. Hakimbabu was complaining last time. I need you to look good. Go and freshen up.” Parvati went towards the kitchen wiping her face.

Bhola was a factory labourer with minimal wage but the factory got closed due to a crash in the stock market. From then on, alcohol was his best companion. Though country liquor was cheap, due to his unemployment it was impossible for his family to bear his much needed expenses. Domestic violence became a routine due to Bhaola’s drunkenness. Parvati had to work as a maid from house to house in the nearby housing complex but Bhola would spend all her earnings on his drinks. Prolonged and extensive consumption of cheap alcohol led to malfunction of Bhola’s liver which had created the latest crisis in his family. Parvati tried every way to continue the treatment of her better half – someone who always treated her as a slave, used and abused her body the way he wanted and slapped and kicked her when she could not manage money for his liquor. Sometimes Parvati thought why she should do all these for him. He neither was bringing any money nor helping her to run the house. This family would have no problem if he just died. Her chest pained when she thought of his behaviour towards their daughter. Sometimes when Durga was sleeping in night, he would stare at her with hate-filled eyes. He would beat her for small or negligible errors and Parvati had to stop him to prevent any grave injuries. Though all these manly qualities were enough to justify leaving him to his fate without any treatment, Parvati didn’t have the courage to take any step. Thus she managed to work out ways to get more money though easier processes. And here Durga became very useful.

“Bring the ribbon here. You are looking very beautiful in this red sari. My God! You look like a lady. Who can guess you are only sixteen?” Parvati was very happy to look at her beautiful daughter.

“Mom, for how much time I have to do this?” Durga asked.

“It will soon be over my girl. Now come on, don’t think much. Get ready.”

To Durga, her mother was her best friend until her father got the disease. Her mother was the rare kind who could be happy in a poverty-stricken morbid life. But the burden of her father’s disease made her mother short-tempered and fractious. At least this is was what Durga reckoned about her mother’s change in mood. She had heard about Hakimbabu when she was a child. He was the richest guy in the locality and everyone was quite indebted for his philanthropic activity. Whenever someone had a money problem he would go to him to get an instant loan. But for that they had to assure him of returning the loan or ensure him that they had resources or ability to return him far more costly article. Parvati had to take the loan with sky-rocketing interest and Hakimbabu knew that she had no means of returning the amount. Hakimbabu was a very disciplined and a man of principles. Hence it was expected that he would deny. But Parvati made such an undeniable offer that it was impossible for any rational-minded man to refuse. Durga’s virginity was quite precious and Hakimbabu was more than happy to give the loan of twenty thousand rupees interest free.

“Now you are ready. You look very attractive.” Parvati smiled.

“He was so happy that he gave me hundred rupees previously and you tell me that he was not satisfied?”

“No beta. Who told you that you are unable to satisfy the man? But if you look attractive then he may give you two hundred more this time. Hurry, my beautiful doll. Wear the new red shoe. It will match with your sari.” Parvati kissed and caressed Durga’s hair.

Durga smiled and left for her destination.

Women are the most multi-talented species on earth. Only they can hide their emotions under a pretentious smile. No one would imagine or feel what was going on in Durga’s mind. It was unfathomable. While she thought her mother was her best friend and would protect her from any kind of harm, Parvati herself sold her for twenty thousand rupees. It was an irony that Durga was making this supreme sacrifice for the person who wanted to kill her the moment she was born.

While Durga was walking through the alley towards Hakimbabu’s palace her mind was racing. She was trying to understand her beloved mother. Her mother was in huge problem; her husband was sick, she had to take a loan, she possessed no precious thing to mortgage and only Hakimbabu could lend her the money. But her mother also pushed her towards an unknown man for twenty thousand rupees. Parvati’s situation was understandable. But whether her solution was rational or heinous was a matter of argument.

When everyone starts doing a questionable act, it becomes a justifiable thing. To Durga it was very natural to see her playmates going to Hakimbabu’s residence at night. They say that they not only had gone to Hakimbabu’s place, but also were privileged to spend nights at other luxury hotels fixed by him. They say if she ‘performed’ well then she also can acquire such privileges.

Her sari was quite annoying for summer and for walking. But Durga looked pretty. She was close to the gates which had opened five times for her previously. Every time she came close to the entrance of this luxury place she couldn’t help but remember her first time here. It was spring back then and she was very excited to enter the luxury house. She had never seen such a big, beautiful and glamorous place where people can live. She was consuming every visual – the garden, the fountain, the servants and the cars made her happy. She had been dreaming of studying and becoming a doctor so that she could cure her father and live in such big houses in big cities. When Parvati handed her to him and told her that Hakim Uncle was a very good friend of hers and would like to play with her daughter, she first got afraid. But Hakimbabu’s friendliness soon helped Durga to forget her fear. After giving her food that she never imagined could exist, he called her see his whole palace. Every time she saw a new room her eyes would go big. At last when they reached the bedroom and he closed the door, Durga got tensed. First she could not sense the upcoming experience of her life. But Hakim’s lustful smile made it clear. She ran towards the door but got trapped in between Hakim’s fist. The tearful struggle that ensued was of no use and it made him more excited and thrilled. He threw her to the soft cotton bed and got above her. Her glass bangles broke leaving red marks on her wrists. She did not know the particular reason of her screaming. She did not understand whether it was because of her mother’s treachery or the pain caused by the man over her who unceremoniously ripped her apart. Her body caught such numbness after that night that even her lips refused to curl and create a smile for weeks. She was being raped since then and she stopped dreaming of living a normal life.

Durga did not notice when she reached in front of Hakimbabu’s palace. She knocked the door and door was opened by Hakim himself. She got surprised.

“Where are your servants?” Durga asked.

“I gave them a leave as my queen is coming,” Hakim said smiling.

Durga laughed. “Am I? I am flattered”

“You look beautiful today, just like Goddess Durga,” Hakim told her with a big smile which had broadened his moustache with his lips.

“You liar!” Durga softly punched Hakim’s chest. “Will you keep me standing at the door?”

“Oh! I am utterly sorry. Come my darling, the house is yours.” Hakim animated his hands by stepping aside from the door and let her enter.

“Today is quite hot. Let’s go straight to the bedroom and drink some beer,” Durga said fanning herself with a newspaper lying on the table.

“Won’t you eat something? I have asked the cook to make special dishes for you.”

“Thank you but I don’t feel like eating anything.” Durga made a reluctant face.

“Okay. Okay. As you wish…”

They went to the luxurious bedroom. Durga closed the door and began pouring beer in two glasses for both of them. They drank the beer and talked for a while and then Hakim made himself another peg of strong mixture of whiskey, beer and ice.

“These electric lights are very artificial. Let me light some candles.” Durga went searching for candles and brought three lighted candles and placed them on the bedside table.

“You really know how to satisfy a man.” Hakim said with a lusty and sleepy smile.

Durga came closer to Hakim and pushed him to the bed. He got thrilled to see such anticipation from her. She untied her hair by removing the ribbons and came closer to his face and began kissing his whole face. He was amused and started enjoying the moment. She gripped his wrist and fastened it to the bed with her hair ribbon. Hakim’s joy knew no bound. He had seen such acts only in foreign porn. Then she removed his pants and came closer to his knees and suddenly fastened his legs with a nylon ribbon. She was smiling. That smile! That was not a common smile. It showed both pity and anger. Hakim got infuriated and terrified simultaneously.

“What are you doing? Untie me, you filthy woman!” His eyes were red and big and he started sweating.

Durga laughed and said, “You know, you are such a monster that you made this room soundproof. Such a moron you are! Now shout as much as you want. Do you think you would continue using me the whole life? You hideous bastard!”

Durga removed the knife from the fruit stand nearby. Seeing this Hakim started shouting and his face became pale with horror.

“Don’t worry. I won’t stab you with this. I am not that inhuman.”

She started heating the knife in the flames of the candles and was continuously staring at him.

“What you are going to do with me? Do you know what I would do to your mother if I got out? ” Hakim warned her crunching his teeth.

“Do you think I care for a mother who sells her daughter to a monstrous rapist?” Durga was laughing. It was maddening. There was no joy in that laughter.

The knife became red from the heat. She got up and sat over Hakim’s waist. She drew the knife closer to his face and whispered; “Now you will know the vengeance of a raped girl.”

Then she buried the burning red knife half-centimeter deep in his chest. Hakim was screaming with eyes his closed. She carved the knife above and below drawing different patterns and melting his flesh. Tears were falling from her eyes but her face was expressionless. Starting from the chest she continued drawing down to his abdomen. She stood up and looking at his chest said; “It is quite a drawing. What do you say?”

Hakim had screamed so much that voice was not audible from his mouth. He looked at his chest. It said,

“I AM A SATANIC RAPIST.”

The knife was somewhat cooled down but it was still enough to cause pain.

“You’ve got some real energy in there. You better think before raping another Durga,” she said looking at his private part.

She left the knife resting on his scrotum and picked all the money from his wallet and then left his house.

She boarded a random train from the station while staring at the distant horizon. Dark scenes were moving fast and with continuous sound of train, she slept.